WWW

Would I ever understand Women?

2011-11-02T19:12:00.002+05:30

"All the reasoning of men are not worth one sentiment of women." ~ Voltaire

Have you ever been elated to share the same birth-date (ifnot the year) with a known member in the family or friends? Is it wrong toattend a birthday party on your birthday? Have you ever attended one? I’ve notbut most likely would be attending the first birthday party next year as one ofmy dearest friend’s son’s birthday coincides with that of mine.

So, when I reached home little early to attend one of myfriend’s son’s 1^st birthday party, my wife declined to accompany me –reason, it’s her birthday today. I’ve been bugging her for awhile to know onhow she wants to celebrate her birthday this year. But, due to her hectic workschedule she said to have no plans. I was planning for a trip to “FalaknumaPalace” for a lavish dinner if time prevails.

Now, that we dropped our plans, I decided to attend one ofthe 1^st birthday party’s (there were two friends’ kids' B'days) proximate toour home so as to catch up with the rest of the gang. So, to hear that she didn’twant to come as it’s also her birthday really pissed me off. I shot back sayingthat she could’ve informed me of that so that I could’ve stuck to the dinnerplan. My anger made her to use the most potent weapon of any woman that even aHulk would find no armor for - SULK.

With tempers faring down, I decided to get off the housewith her, towards ‘Necklace Road’ (NR) and for a change opted for a bike ride. Nature,in the meantime has its own plans and it started to drizzle as I tried to maneuverthrough the tough weekday peak-hour traffic. Luckily, by the time we reachedthe peaceful NR both the traffic and weather became pleasant. We’d a wonderful& peaceful time together first a stroll on the bike and then walking acrossthe gardens; having sundry discussion ranging from how much that area changedto the way we’ve spent here a few years back.

The topic veered about one of our new parent friends was interruptedas they called her to wish and we found out that the kid & mother would beleft alone as my friend would attend the party. Now that my wife’s notinterested to attend the party, I coined if we could go to their home as it’s nearer fromthere. My wife said that we could go and as we’re on our way she inquired ifthis was the way for the party venue.

The way she reacted when coined for the first time aboutparty was as if it was blasphemy and now she wanted to attend the party! What’swrong with this woman? Soon, my flummoxed look gave way to fury. I stopped thebike to ask what’s running on her mind and she said that we could head back tohome. By now, so irritated I was that I began to wonder why I ever was married?

Later in the night, I received a sms from my wife in telugu, thetranslation reads: “tolerated me ‘coz I happened to be your wife, would’vedumped if it were a girlfriend!”

I was shell shocked. I know that frontal lobes allow transformingthoughts into words but couldn’t comprehend how her lobes could pick my thoughts. Iwas happy and unhappy simultaneously as she reads me so well and alsoscares me as she could read to this extent.

"Women are like tricks by sleight of hand, which, to admire,we should not understand." ~ William Congreve, Love for Love.

The Wall - Fare(d)well !!!

2011-09-17T13:58:00.000+05:30

“The world is round andthe place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.” ~ Ivy BakerPriest

“I am honored and privileged to be selected for the one-dayteam”, this was his comment on being recalled into ODI team, probably for thelast time. It would be disgrace if “The Most Dependable”, “The Wall” aka RahulDravid has not graced my blog. For some reason, he never really didn’t get hisdue; he’s eloquent, humble and most of all – a prolific run getter in allformats of the game. One can’t ignore the various contributions done by him tothe Indian Cricket and probably an ideal ambassador for the game across theworld.

When Swann was asked his reaction upon Dravid’s appearanceon his last ODI, the response was all with surprise that he would be thehappiest person as he wouldn’t need to bowl to such an in-form batsmen andreiterated that bowlers across the world would cheer as it would be respite foreveryone of them. What better ovation than in the words of the opposition - itsummarizes the exemplary career of his.

Yes, he was always almost overshadowed by the partner be itin his Test debut at Lord’s where Sourav hit a maiden century on debut while hemissed; or the Hyd ODI where he slammed his career best when Sachin also hithis then best; or the most historic Eden Garden innings when Laxman took thelimelight and the latest on his last ODI when Kohli reached his ton partneringhim. And all of his partners always credited their performance to Dravid, butstill he never got the right due. May be 'coz he's a team player Period.

Not to mention the BCCI, he was unceremoniously dropped fromODI after he resigned as the captain. The sacrifices he made – turned into awicketkeeper, opener and adjusted his batting order depending on the situation– were in the larger interests of the team, I reckon, if any other Indiancricketer had ever done.

The resilience he has shown in the Australian series when hewas hit by bouncers, the commitment shown when all chips were down in NZ tour,the grit displayed during the SA whitewash, the acts of rescue done during theSL tour and the latest of course, BCCI inclusion in the ODI series earned himrightly – THE WALL. The flashes of brilliance displayed during the debut &only T20I shows that this cricketer has a lot left in him and can offer a ton tothe new generation of Cricketers.

It was heartening and relishing seeing the entire Cardiffcrowd gave a roaring reception on his entry and also a memorable standingovation as he left – personally a cutis anserina experience.Though, his swansong belted runs didn’t earn an Indian victory, he gaveeverything even at this hour, is truly commendable.

I wonder, if a similar fairy tale ending would get for theMaster Blaster, Sachin.

“Practice as if you are the worst; perform as if you are thebest.” ~ Anonymous

A Decade after the Day Changed the World

2011-09-11T21:20:00.005+05:30

"The terrible thing about terrorism is that ultimately it destroysthose who practice it. Slowly but surely, as they try to extinguish life inothers; the light within them dies." ~ Terry Waite

As usual I & my dad were fighting for the control of theTV remote as its time for his daily dose of news and my choice of movies. Invariablyhe won; I was just into my 20s and still am a hugely dependent. So, as the newschannel was switched we were shell-shocked looking at the visuals, LIVE, thenwe saw the plane crashing into the South Tower. For an instant, the whole worldpaused and I was glued for the next six hours to the TV surfing through variouschannels almost all beaming the same visuals.

As the shock wore down, my analysis started to pour in onthis unprecedented attack on the American soil and I was narrating my dad howit could impact the world order and the chances of wipe-out of at least twocountries out of the world map (one Afghanistan and the other being thePakistan) but what turned out is a history we all know.

We (India) might ponder on the various opportunities ofportrayal of our MFN in bad light or failed ones. But forever the world changedand the perspectives also changed probably forever. The immediate reaction as Ithought was a war on Afghanistan and then followed the major miscalculations ofUS ‘war on terror’ which translated into an inane war on Iraq.

The greatest impact happened is the way Americans createdbarriers within their own nation and between their own citizens; the ever insecureAmerican turned only worse and started to suspect everyone and everything. Thiswas the land of migrants as their current President Obama reiterated but nowhas numerous accounts of attacks and discrimination towards them. Air travelnever was same and people began to accept the enhanced security check-ups fromfrisking to body scanners breaching the privacy.

With Bush taking a pledge not to repeat such an event, thebeef up in the security homeland (internal) and external turned up to an unparalleledlevels involving almost a million spooks with over 2000 private security companies. Bush created Department of Homeland Securityin ’02 overseeing 22 different security agencies to form the largest US cabinetdept after Pentagon. Would you believe the terrorist surveillance program byNational Security Agency (NSA) aka “No Such Agency”, tracks up to two billionelectronic intercepts each day, red-flagging trigger words in emails andtelephone conversations?

And as Obama pursued the same agenda and continued the pledgeit only increased the costs of maintaining this agenda. Then added the worriesof the recession and the unemployment; coupled with the increased public debtand social welfare expenditure with no increase in the taxes to fund thegrowing cost of war.

Economist Michael Boskn says in a Wall Street Journal op-edthat Federal spending is 25% of GDP, the budget deficit is 10% of GDP andfederal debt s 67% of GDP are all at their highest levels since WWII. The proportionof employed citizens at 58.1% s the highest since the ‘30s and proportion ofpaying income tax is 49% is the lowest in modern times while the proportion ofgetting Govt handouts s highest n history @ 47%. None of the statistics lieabout the state of US, the sole Super Power?

A decade on from the tragedy, the world only remains morevulnerable, fragile and insecure than it earlier was. Osama, the allegedmastermind wanted to bring US down but what wasn’t envisaged by Al-Qaida and itsperpetrators was to bleed America financially to bankruptcy. And have wemanaged to bring this menace any lower? NO, the growing affiliates have shownthe resilience to strike at will and across countries including India. Disconnectedwith all these events is ‘Jasmine Revolution’ devoid of all the shades of anyradical ideology.

"Fighting terrorism is like being a goalkeeper. You can make a hundredbrilliant saves but the only shot that people remember is the one that getspast you." ~ Paul Wilkinson

What Women Want - II (The Reckoning)

2011-08-29T20:10:00.003+05:30

“Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.” ~ Emerson.

I’ve maintained an utter silence, an ideal thing at that situation, though its not knowing what to respond is the major reason. With the train rocking and time right past midnight, I contemplated if I’d shown more patient to be awake. Her voice erupted in my earphone for my response, again. That fleeting, if ever, doziness vanished in a split of a second. This is my major confrontation and violation in our two years of marriage. Yeah! Exactly two years - the date just changed to 15^th of Aug, as the entire nation erupted to celebrate their moment of independence, leaving me on the other side.

On this fateful date two years back we were wedded for our lives. Of course, to my logical mind it’s still 20 odd hours more for that event. For once, I wondered why we would celebrate our anniversaries/birthdays/new year/I-days at the stroke of midnight and why we’re so eager to wish others dot at that moment. Moreover, failing which would attract to such an embarrassment. Again I was shook back out of my thoughts as she demanded an explanation.

The initial plan was for a single-day trip, to attend the first ever alumni meet of our school, an event after almost three decades and we’re (our batch) meeting after 15 long years. So, at the insistence of my dear friends I’d extended for one more day and so happened to be mid-way home at this stroke of mid-night. What was planned to be a leisure day turned hectic and I cozened into sleep as soon as I finished the dinner, completely satisfied that I would reach home in the morning for the anniversary.

So, miffed with my change of plans, my wife had initiated a non-cooperation movement ever since I told that I would pull off one more day and stopped attending my phone calls; chose to respond by sms, at best. These friends who’d convinced me to cancel my bookings started to exemplify my courage/sacrifice to cajole others to stay put. Only then had I realized the graveness of the mistake I’d committed.

A monologue continued for half-hour and it took another hour to get back to sleep. She was already off to her duty (hospital) by the time I reached home. Luckily, thanks to couple of friends I shopped the previous day and placed my gift in her cup-board while I’ve collected my gift from mine. I’ve been dodging movies for a while now (8-9months) so to surprise her I’ve managed to book for ZNMD. By the evening as I roped in other friends along with their wives for the dinner, I could sense things were back to normal.

But, I wondered What Women Want and now I’m still pondering about the importance of the ‘0’ clock in the anniversaries…….

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” ~ Paul Sweeney

My RIGHT to be Right

2011-08-23T14:25:00.004+05:30

“Indifference is harder to fight than hostility, and there is nothing that kills an agitation like having everybody admit that it is fundamentally right.” ~ Crystal Eastman

Back during my management studies, we (our batch of students) have done something probably unheard of in a premier B-school environment - Boycott classes and the entire agitation was to improve the standards of teaching.

So, when we started to walk out of the first class at 8 in the morning, our professor was clueless and we assembled at ‘Rotunda’, an octagonal shaped shelter to stage our protest. It was to be the start of the events, a revolution of sorts and a beginning for our betterment. Our professor at first thought that it was his class that we were boycotting and was in almost tears but took solace that we planned to continue and it’s nothing particularly against him, alone.

Soon, our senior faculty members and the Director arrived one after the other and they were flummoxed as none of us spoke to them or told them for an entire three hours. As each passing hour went by we switched to the respective subjects that were supposed to be taught as per the schedule. All that we wanted to convey and conveyed was that there is no ‘value addition’ by the faculty and we could as well learn from the books.

Aagh.. the MBA jargon – ‘value addition’, lucky that there was no VAT in those days or else the greedy govt could’ve found ways to create revenue. Though, initially was not in favor of the movement, I inclined into it as majority felt that we could achieve justice. After an initial inertia the reluctant management team gave in, to avoid the embarrassment (our senior batch couldn’t grapple what’s happening on the campus) and called for negotiations.

We started to apply what we’ve thus far learnt – evaluation of employees – we’ve started to rate each professor and defined a standard. Soon we began to lose steam (5days passed) and as the experienced negotiators found chinks; the entire discussion veered into another territory. At last, the ordeal ended with ‘repeat’ of lectures on some of the subjects and postponing some of the exams post summer-internship. Personally, I would never want a repeat of s**t and not least the postponement, feeling cheated I walked out of our batch meet. For a while I was an outcast.

I find something similar happening with the Anna movement - either you’re with the movement or an outcast - not much of a choice. Most of them don’t understand the finer print. At first the A-Team (read Anna) spoke about what the JanLokpal Bill could do and now esp the recent few days frenetic efforts are being done by the A-team to educate, bring awareness to masses on what can’t be achieved by it. This shift in the focus is due to the unprecedented support at various levels of the society and polity.

Suddenly, I see that the movement has derailed from its original objective ‘coz you can at best ask the Govt to accept the format of this bill and hope to get it cleared in the parliament. One might argue that with all the support across political parties and even cutting across their party’s agenda are willing to support, one needs to understand what precedent we are setting in the law making. What fathoms me most is the choice of interlocutors by A-team, no more words.

I was taught ‘Business Law’ by an esteemed High Court Judge and he said that law derives out of society which is derived out of customs/traditions and which (law) in turn shapes the society. If that cycle is clear then I wouldn’t have to go through, when A-team and many of my fellow citizens were fighting against graft.

I dearly want this kind of legislation to be in place but deep in my heart I didn’t want it this way…. May be I’m burdened by my experiences!!!!!!!

I don't want India to be known as a bunch of bullys who bully other Cricket Boards, Foriegn Coaches and even their own Govt.

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust

The Journeyman .....

2011-08-03T13:28:00.000+05:30

"Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual; the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country." ~ Karl Kraus.

The current malice of corruption that India is facing is a long accepted psyche of us and our continuous indifference to it has transformed into an enormous cancer. Thousands rallied behind Anna Hazare during his hunger strike, many even started fasts in support of him across the country, demanding an improved version of Lokpal bill and esp for the bill to effect into a law. Clearly, the fight against corruption really struck the chord of most Indians and media for its eternal thirst for spectacle only accentuated the entire episode. Large sections of people, esp the net-igens accepted this as the greatest public event since the freedom struggle (even I’ve shared a similar view on my fb a/c) and lent their support by sharing the videos of Anna’s rendering of Jan Lokpal Bil.

But for the first time, I’ve become a witness (recorded) to a corruption, a completely organized one. Last week, my friend called me without any notice, if I could come down in next two hours to the Registrar’s office (RO). He bought a flat and was registering the same and requested me to be a witness to the entire deal – a partner in crime.

The office was situated in a private property (how come govt doesn’t have their own offices while so much land is owned) which is way inside the premises. One needs to cross various commercial spaces (shops) to reach there. And all these are occupied by “Document Writers” (DW - agents) who help process your application – from filling to attaching the req docs to the stamping i.e. getting the deal approved.

I was confused at first as there is a large crowd at each of these shops while the actual RO is almost empty except for a few denizens sitting in the waiting area. As the DW took some more time, to get my friend’s things organized, than anticipated I’ve planned to spend the time to understand the total modus operandi.

There are just 3 tables and 3 desktops with 3 chairs occupied by 3 employees. That’s a clean & lean work system – the first impression, my corporate brain couldn’t but appreciate it. The Sub-Registrar’s seat (I’m not mentioning the name & location – as I later found that it’s the same or even worse across India) sat at a high table which is over an elevation and a boundary of wood-work with a small door (for him to move in & out) – similar to that of the judge seat in Indian movie set (guess you pictured it by now) is occupied by His Highness. There’s a large section of book-keeping or record section on to his left with a shutter door arrangement.

An air-conditioned enclosure is at the right corner of the office where the digitization process (computerization) is being done by 3 more ‘contract’ employees. There’s an array of batteries (back-up for the computers) adjacent to the enclosure. My first question was on why would they need so many batteries for the back-up ‘coz I hardly see a few lights and systems – again my corporate P&L at work.

So, as we waited, I’d inquired about how he ended up with the current space and the builder’s reputation, the timelines and the total cost of the ownership, etc. As the discussion veered into the financials of the deal, I was trying to calculate upon the revenue generation by the Govt. and then he burped about the nitty-gritty of it. I know, by now half of you, readers would give an expression of Oh! this we knew for long but let me narrate how I became an accomplice.

He said that he has 3 quotes: One for the Registration of the cost, One is the actual deal between him and the builder and the other for the loan approval in an ascending order. Still trying to comprehend the details of our Real estate maneuvers, it was already 5pm. I’ve realized that 3 hrs have gone by and still waiting for the ordeal to finish. At exactly the same time, His Highness rose from the seat and left the office with his entourage. I was aghast as we’ve not finished our work and the time’s finished and was completely confused when DW came ushered us to the desk and I’ve signed as the 1st witness to this drama.

The agent then explained that His Highness is not required to be present for the deal as he would sign off once everything is ‘paid’ properly. But, the deal is supposed to be finished and I became an accomplice for the first time, officially.

The ironic part of this entire drama is right over His Highness’s chair there are two framed photographs of ‘Father of the Nation’ - Mr. M K Gandhi and ‘Netaji’ - Mr. S C Bose. What made it more dramatic is that both chose to stare in a direction away from the entire office as if they knew already what were to happen or what was happening or the office chose only those phots that credited the entire operation.

Now, it's my turn to look elsewhere or be blind. Could I ever be absolved? This Journeyman has not yet picked up the trade but was completely surprised at the enormity of it.

“The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference” ~ Bess Myerson.

+1 on your Social Network

2011-07-21T15:56:00.005+05:30

“Animals can adapt to problems and make inventions, but often no faster than natural selection can do its work - the world acts as its own simulator in the case of natural selection” ~ Vernor Vinge.

The other day one of my friends called up after a very long time and we’d an extended chat for close to an hour. (Yeah! You guessed it right, it was a she) She was inquiring about various other common friends and I’d asked her on why don’t she not open an fb a/c. She said that it was not private and most of the stuff was public. I rationalized her with all the latest features that could be used to prevent it.

I’ve sent her a google+ invite saying that most of her concerns are well countered in this new networking site from google, still not live, yet. Let me give you my first feelers after using since almost it was available for trial. This could probably the best answer from google after its repeated pains through buzz and wave.

First of all, personally, google evokes some bond, don’t know why; may be ‘coz I constantly use their Mail, Messenger, Blogger, YouTube, Picasa, Orkut and most importantly their most famous invention, the search, imbedded in my browser tool bar. This generation has depended for awhile to make google our household name. Of course, in India, Orkut ruled over myspace, hi5 and various other social networking sites until we became the citizens of the eventual champion, facebook.

So, the first impressions of the g+ are its familiarity (could build contempt) of google. The fonts and the stream (little alike the buzz) aka ‘wall’ in fb and various posts (pics, vids, etc) that you may share with others. I guess the similarity stops there.

You’ve circles which is a creation of groups out of your family, friends, acquaintances, etc from an array of tiles of people whom you’ve interacted with your gmail, earlier. You may name ex’s, crush’s, etc as a circle and also add someone you don’t know but want to follow just like in twitter. These circles are very easy to create – just drag them into your desired circles. So, why the circles: it allows you to post material only visible to those in the circles, the biggest privacy act has been achieved. Yes, ppl would argue that fb has the option but it’s little tiresome for you to chose the list.

Though g+ remembers your last selection, you have to specify who gets to see your new post/pic. What I’ve loved in this is sparks, one types his/her favorite topic and g+ fills with the related news articles, pics, vids, etc similar to the google alerts. Now, you need not browse for the latest cricket score while you network.

And you want to discuss the Dhoni’s decision to draw the test then all you need is to ‘huddle’. It’s an instant phone-to-phone group chats with your circles but only for Android users. If you don’t use one then there is always an option of ‘Hangout’, simply speaking video-con, something very similar to that of the skype. All the participants are tiled up with auto switching the speaker to the big screen, though you’ve an option to manually tile a particular one. Most interesting part is that you can ‘drop by’ when you see one of your buddies in the hang outs. Also, a chat window appears on one side for typed remarks and a YouTube button lets everyone watch videos simultaneously.

Now, sharing of photos has become much easier. With the current beta version is only for the gmail users, their existing Picasa web photos are automatically brought in, of course, you may rule out if you want and all you need is to drag a photo from your computer and its on your profile. It’s at least for now is free from games and other promotional events, etc. which I like, though it might attract all of them soon.

Jeff Weiner, CEO, LinkedIn, predicts that g+ creating an imbalance in the networking space as he points that there is no space for another player beyond twitter, facebook & LinkedIn and predicts its demise soon.

As for me I think one has not yet realized the true potential of g+, it would become your mainstream/home window on your browser. The top menu “+you” has all the similarities of gmail and as you login it becomes a universal ticket to all of the entertainment, search and information. This convergence and ease of technology would ensure that it’s surely +1 for google for now.

“Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does nature because in her inventions nothing is lacking, and nothing is superfluous” ~ Leonardo da Vinci.

The 'i' in me

2011-07-13T11:54:00.002+05:30

"A great man is one who leaves others at a loss after he is gone." ~ Paul Valer

The delight of a promotion came along with a transfer to a new location (Vizag) of 650KM from Hyderabad. It was near to my native but somehow was not comfortable leaving all the friends and colleagues to recreate another such circle. The thought of reporting another boss and accommodating to the egos of other colleagues dreaded me.

So, the day I joined my new office, 6 years ago, I never thought I would embark on a new lease of life that would forever change me and my life. Though, I’ve joined here, I kept my options open for relocating back to Hyd. When people asked me on how I’m finding the new place, I used to deride saying that life here has 120sec in a minute.

I began to find rapport with some individuals where I could create my own circle. Then another new fella joined - who’s just as young as us, energetic, enthusiastic and full of passion. Though, I was the youngest of the entire office, I’d the highest experience in the system and there the set up being new I was asked to assist him in getting acquainted with all the process, etal…

As we interacted I found that he’s fun-loving and had a contagious smile always on his face. He used to uplift the entire energy surrounding him, always positive. He almost convinced me to stay in that city forever.

His name was spelt differently, REDDY as REDDI, I replacing the common y. It was mistakenly entered and he persisted with it. That was one of our most common provocations just to bug him. He was married at a young age and has a son. And in one of our outings we met along with the families, we’d great fun along with his son.

I convinced that young kid to replace Y with I. later after years, when he contacted me, he laughingly cursed me for brain-washing his son to use I instead of Y, which he currently does. As both of us moved out of that city and drifted in our lives, we still kept in touch over phone regularly, updating of our evolving lives.

Then suddenly, when I heard about his demise, probably a cardiac-arrest, I couldn’t muster the courage to stand to receive this bad news. He neither smoked tobacco nor drank alcohol; he was always healthy but put on generously over the years. Other friends now recount urging him for an increased physical activity and his responses of starting the morning walks.

Within his capacity he funds for the education of two orphans and wanted to help more over years. He was always way ahead and behaved matured to his age. I’ve learnt from him to be modest, respect traditions, being humble and above all live life to the fullest – happily.

"For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity" ~ William Penn

The Hunting Down of Osama

2011-05-02T14:56:00.005+05:30

“America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.” ~ John Updike

“Justice has been done” – this four word phrase would be rolled over and over in the decades to come – and the subsequent speech by President Obama could potentially be the most important one as the State Head.

A few months back Afghan administration has clearly stated that there is no sign of Osama on their territory and has been ratified by the NATO (who have literally swept every inch of Afghanistan). Everyone knew that he was harbored in Pakistan but no one could trace him! Why?

How, then, did US manage to gun him down?

The timing of this event was very important for the president – with economy still in shambles, growing concerns & costs over the ‘war on terror’, latest tornado storms, no respite on unemployment and plunging popularity polls. So, the news can’t come at any better time.

To avert this he tried everything in his hat, creating barriers (stringent visa rules to Indian IT pros) and also visiting India for a change, create jobs back in the US, supposedly signed quiet a billions of deals. He then continued it to the other growing economies of Asia but none worked in his favor and his slide continued.

Add to this – an increasing doubt on Pak’s intentions on the co-operation (the latest CIA spy acquittal for money), Pak “aid-bill” (read as bribe) giving no tangible results and Wikileaks statements describing the veracity of Pak’s intentions to US support - all have strained the US-Pak relations.

With momentum gaining in Congress against further aid to Pak, there’s an enormous pressure on both sides to come to terms (the recent meeting of Army Chief of Staff, Dempsey’s with Gen Kayani sealed a deal) to ease the current situation. The qualitative time spent with the General over the President Zardari or PM Gilani indicates the power equation in Pakistan. So, when I heard that if the operation to kill Osama had prior approval from the Govt of Pak, the obvious answer is a big NO.

What can’t be ignored is the last week’s media release by Al-Qaeda that the world would need to brace up for an increased terror if Osama were to be captured or killed. So, it’s a classic case of – no smoke without fire.

So, the orchestrated drama of announcing the end of Osama comes a great relief to Obama’s administration in successfully diverting the attention of the greater public for a while and also score a few on the opinion. Sure, he would rise back to popularity.

Connecting the dots.... the past few months have thrown some interesting insights into how the world would transform in the days to come. From the Jasmine Revolution to the Japan's Earthquake and subsequent Tsunami to the Nuclear Catastrophe to the End of Osama; these are events that make us move into the World of Equality, Democracy, Peace and Green. The transformation I've earlier mentioned in one of my posts.

As Mr. President ended his speech, God bless you all, God Bless America and I would extend – God Bless Mankind.

"History is a set of lies agreed upon" ~ Napoleon Bonaparte.

Belated Happy Valentine's Day ;)

2011-02-18T14:50:00.006+05:30

When love is not madness, it is not love. ~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca

As the familiar smell of Chennai air hit my face, I realized I’d forgotten the importance of that day and reached for my mobile phone. I’ve been out of country for over a week and enjoying my new found ‘artificial’ freedom. This intoxication has numbed my neural system rendering short term memory lapse.

The last few days have been pretty hectic experiences with some of the life’s first-time and some probably life-time’s. In this hard grind, I forgot to call my wife and wish her on the Valentine’s Day. It wouldn’t have been a big issue if she hadn’t called/forgotten but me missing to do it calls for havoc.

I conveyed my whereabouts and the various travails we faced at the immigration, etal, and never touched upon the dreaded ‘V’. Finally, she asked if I couldn’t find a minute to call her from anywhere and I said that I completely forgot about the whole thing. I now used my occasional amnesiac condition to full advantage, successfully.

Over the conversation, acting too-smart, made the fatal mistake of asking her what had I done the previous year? Things suddenly turned up-side down and all hell broke lose. I apologized and was at last scot-free.

Unlike last year, as I reached home I received a greeting card describing the many ways my wife loves me. Thanks for all this love, I was saved.

Thank you, St. Valentine!

“Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.” ~ Victo Hugo

Inception! Whose Dream Is It Anyway?

2010-08-11T11:07:00.019+05:30

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange ~ Cobb, the character of Leonardo in the movie, Inception.

I was arguing with someone that I wouldn’t give up or stop till I reach the goal. Then I could see myself running at a very brisk pace on a narrow patch of cemented road, with single roofed houses (mostly of asbestos) on both the sides of the road - typical of any small villages in India. I also saw trees at most houses some with their own ‘pet’ gardens as people stared at me in amusement and confusion from their verandahs.

As if I was in delirium, I could hear somebody shout that I would not stop running whatever happens around! And I started to wear down but don’t know some purpose was driving me and I kept on running. The road eventually was curved into a bridge over a small irrigation canal.

As I reached over the bridge, I saw people looking curiously into the water pointing at something. Though, I needed to run I couldn’t resist but see what it is; as I slowed down a bit in my pace. There’s a ripple moving towards the bridge as if it were a ‘torpedo’, moving pretty fast and I could figure it as a snake, a large one, alike the anacondas. It moved as if it had not noticed any of the people and started to pass under the bridge, that’s when I’d seen a tiger emerging out of the water on the banks and fast approaching on to the road.

Suddenly, there was furor and pandemonium with people rushing away from the bridge to their houses and in a moment I was in the tiger’s path. It started to run towards me as I’d galloped to the nearest shelter in sight. It was typical ‘bus shelter’ with RCC roof but with no stairs.

It’s completely abandoned and out of use for many years, it’s just like a stage/platform and no where to hide. All I could reach is the sun-shade and as I hanged for my dear-life, the tiger narrowly missed my shoe a couple of times. After a struggle, I'd managed to get on to the top of it and was about to reach the roof when I’d seen a group of tigers, cubs, etal. - A family of sorts over the roof just waiting for me to arrive, their meal of the day.

My heart pounded hard as I felt very heavy, breathless and shuddered. That set the “kick” and woke up to find myself in a train, the wristwatch read 2:15am. I sat over the berth, took a deep breath and drank water. As I pulled open the coach door, I saw a lanky young man standing at the pathway connecting another coach, immersed himself in a novel. I tried to check out the label but couldn't and didn't feel like asking him the name of the novel.

He gave back a fleeting but restless glance as if I was one of those characters from the novel that sprang up and burrowed back into his book. I washed my face and returned to my bed wondering whose dream is it anyway?

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream ~ Edgar Allan Poe.

The Spy I loved

2010-07-14T21:37:00.006+05:30

“Coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous” ~ Albert Einstein.

A few days back, as I was browsing through the NYTimes, a particular news attracted my attention: Exchange of spies between the US and Russia. This is an aftermath of the series of events where the FBI has arrested 11 Russians suspected of spying in the US. I felt as if I were re-reading some of the Jeffery Archer's classic over the Cold War games/times. I turned to my colleague and asked: "Are they serious about this? Do they still continue the espionage?"

What I failed to comprehend was: On what Russia could possibly spy on America. Inarguably the US has been a champion of commitment to Free Spirit, Individual Freedom, Open Markets, Modern Enterprise and a culture that imbibes and exhibits the equality and equity for the immigrants in terms of opportunity and all-in-all a destination of the Dream - the Great American Dream. Nothing of which is unavailable or copyright protected - the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and Declaration of Independence is in the National Archives of D.C. I can rattle out the directions sitting here thanks to Archer as he describes in one of his novels and more recently in National Treasurer, movie.

I've many-a-times advised my brother in Chicago to visit the best of the dining places thanks to the Travel & Living channel and directed many of the first time visitors in D.C. to the most interesting and ciphered locations in and around D.C. thanks to Dan Brown. And it fathoms me to the fact that Russians are spying and on what - Yes, if its on the Organized Corporate Corruption, on the Design of Complicated Financial Instruments, on the Infamous Political Lobbying, on the Arm-twisting Foreign Policy and on the Increasing Skewness towards Protectionism which is devouring all the merits that took US to the what is it now!

If at all the Russians are trying espionage on these factors then the US should be least worried and also be happy that of all that they'd till date exported this information could well define the World's Future and also can be highly contagious than the Great American Dream itself - this I would call as the Great American Destruction. Yes you may argue the greatest exports of Russia: Vodka, Matryoshka dolls, Kalashnikovs, MIGs and Beautiful Tennis Players but if not for the Oil, Gas and Mineral Wealth and most importantly the coincidence of Growth Engines of China & India helped it get back to the center stage in World Politics. And if they're spying for all these ideas then Russia can self-destruct itself pretty quickly.

Moving away from these serious stuff: the coincidence of Star Movies paying tribute to the Silver Screen's Greatest Spy - James Bond is making me awake late in the nights. As the FIFA World Cup ended my wife thought that it was the end of late nights but with the Bond's extravaganza the night's seems to be smaller. Only wished they'd telecast it by 9pm.

Anywaz, my all-time favorite Bond is a joint First by Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan. Sean for his gritty and solid performance while Brosnan for his charm and cool attitude. Daniel Craig makes it next with his physique, the best amongst all the Bonds, and some daring stunts.

Who's your Favorite?

“Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.” ~ Auric Goldfinger.

In-Sach-able

2010-02-25T12:52:00.004+05:30

Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their television sets and switch off their lives. ~ BBC Sports

In the 1st ODI with SA when Sachin dived off the penultimate ball to save a certain boundary there was so much delay in confirming the save. Television replays couldn’t tell beyond doubt of it and the third umpire took quiet a time to decide. The South Africans were dejected but we (me & my wife) thought that they should’ve asked Sachin. And that’s the confidence we’ve (Indians) in him that he just can’t do any wrong. To put as in the words of NKP Salve, the former Union Minister – “Sachin can’t cheat. He is to cricket what Gandhi was to politics.”

As an individual he’s calm, polite and reserved but I don’t know if the opposition team's reaction provoked or had raised any question over his integrity and probably he wanted to put them to rest, all alone – the result is a record shattering effort. It was dearer to me, like every Indian that his name reflects for the Individual Highest score in ODIs. Its particularly emotional that the previous holder was a Pakistani and rubbing salt over the wound was the fact that he hit against India in India. It was personally painful for me that it was in a series that commemorated the Golden Jubilee celebration of Indian Independence. As Sachin himself once said that beating Pakistan is always special because they’re a tough team and we have a bit of a history regarding Pakistan.

I was in office and could only access the internet to check the scores and it was frustrating last few overs whenever Dhoni took single at the last ball to forbid Sachin the strike. I could imagine how my dad would be pacing in the living room cursing Dhoni for not letting Sachin the strike. No less that we were (at office) cussing Dhoni. Then, I heard a crowd shrieking with joy outside my office and understood that Sachin had done it; the scoreboard over the net was not updated yet. But, we all jumped in unison, celebrated and a flurry of messages flowed from the phones congratulating and exhibiting the Indian pride.

Now, the last frontier, Lara’s record of Highest Individual Test score is pending and expectations are now soaring high that he achieves it soon. And for the master this is not new, he always carried a Billion aspirations all along his life; for he plays for the passion and runs are just an outcome and records are just a statement.

“If one man is representing India in cricket, then yes, blame that person when things go wrong.” ~ Sachin Tendulkar.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T23:05:00.009+05:30

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." ~Albert Einstein

A whiff of a fresh fragrance jolted me out of deep sleep. Even before I’d comprehend what it was I was feeling a varying degree of warmth over my cheek. As I opened my eyes, I was already receiving my third peck, from my beloved wife. I saw her fully decked up and made up after a nice shower and it’s a very nice way to wake up on a Sunday morning, especially on a Valentine’s Day.

It all started in the last couple of days when friends started asking me what I was planning for the first valentine’s day of my marriage. And, precisely, I’m clueless as I was completely ill-prepared, but the morning’s experience made me realize that its right around me the expectations are soaring up.

As if in a run-up to this D-Day I’ve been buying some small gifts, chocolates, etc at least a week in advance everyday. With the scene reaching to newer peaks, I’d no option but really surprise her with something completely different. So, as she left for an exam (she’s been preparing for her PG entrance and attending mock tests over weekends) I got ready with a plan.

I’ve put on one of my most expensive and favorite perfumes, drove into the city; the previous night, one of my good friends suggested that I could try out jewelry of Gold/Platinum/Diamond and then of course a whole hell lot of catalogues especially released across the magazines, newspaper supplements for this great day. So, ‘m confused.

As I entered for the first time into a jewelry store, felt claustrophobic and didn’t know what to ask for. And add to my confusion, I’ve entered a store which’s of four floors and don’t know what to pick up. Each floor has a different set of accessories and at a wide range, I fathom almost nothing. So, I ended up leaving the choice to the sales man there, who wished me as I entered.

First he asked me what I wanted to buy and then the range, as if I knew. Smart bloke that he was understood me and made the whole transaction seamless. I was out of the store even before the valet parked my car, quiet relieved, headed to pick my wife from the test center. After a leisure lunch, joined by two more friends we were out driving aimlessly. I wanted to surprise as she was not expecting any (‘coz we laughed at the thought of gifting each other just the previous night) and we reached a nice golf course where I perched my car over a green top and kneeled at her door to gift a set of earrings.

She was just thrilled and her sudden expression of elation conveyed all the love we’d for each other.

A Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." ~ Thoreau

A moment lasts all of a second, but the memory lives on forever

2010-01-18T11:53:00.006+05:30

“A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen.” ~ Edward de Bono

Even the erasing duster couldn’t remove much of the thought. The friction of a white chalk over the green glass board provided enough irritation to skip the lecture or at least disrupt by some means.

Not that all human are irritable-free and this gives an opportunity to create a statement of freedom, a statement of liberation – a liberation from the bored class room, a liberation out of unknown and undistinguishable lanes of knowledge, most of which is either never ever utilized or ventured.

The attempt to create an opportunity is fraught with the dangers of being caught and face consequences sometimes quiet serious. But, a hero would be born in the eyes of the fellow mates though at the ire of the lecturer and quiet importantly at the cost of few marks/grades. As this attempt could bring a twinkle in the eye of the most attractive girl in the class; I moved against all the odds, unknowing what the events might unfold into.

So, a careful observation was spent missing to demystify at least three theorems and two very difficult proofs as I deciphered for the code – a key that will unlock not just the freedom and the liberation but most precisely the dreaded consequences.

As I scanned across to search for my theorem in the class, I saw the twinkle that always fluttered my heart, sure did I miss at least a beat or two each time it curved into a what is called a smile – as fleeting it was the sweeter and memorable it turned.

Strange, it just took a second, in an attempt to bring in attention from my queen of hearts; I got connected with the quiver of arrows – the irritation that upsets my lecturer’s rhythm – the rustle of the shoes.

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams.” ~ Jeremy Irons

Jai Telangana - A Common Man's View

2010-01-09T12:47:00.006+05:30

“Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness.” ~ Albert Einestin

I’ve constantly resisted the urge to write about the Telangana agitation for some time but the current lawlessness in AP made me to get down to this.

First let’s just understand and accept that the cause is quiet authentic, make it a premise. Now, the legitimacy of this claim has to be mooted i.e. the backwardness or the under-development (read, oppression) that’s being claimed for the separation. If only one would analyze that there are such many districts in the so-called Andhra region and Rayalaseema region (both would want a separate state status and of course, in that situation Andhra into two more divisions with North Coastal Andhra) apart from the Telangana.

The starkest point comes from the timing of the agitation; the untimely death of YSR, a unanimous leader (in the making of a dictator) created a void aka ‘Black Hole’ which could never be filled. Let us accept that the TRS (Telangana Rashtra Samiti) would have been a defunct except for two/three family members representing the assembly (now it’s at around 10) if YSR were to survive for a year. He was not an exemplary leader but some of his qualities were and probably he’s the best suited man in the situation for uniting the factionist Congress and the opportunist politicians in the state.

It’s rumored in the Power Circles that KCR was bought by YSR during the earlier elections and most of his elected party men were on the path to integrate with the state Congress. The fact that the people brought him back to power on the Development of Telangana card and not a separate T augurs well with the idea of being a united AP.

But, putting aside the emotional issue let’s also validate the claim for the separate T state. Though, AP is the first state to be formed on the linguistic basis, it has importantly 4 to 5 dialects and also reflects at the least, three different cultures. And the fact that Telangana was later got integrated with the rest of Andhra to form AP makes things more complicated.

A brief history of Telangana is believed to be part of Telinga Kingdom which fought in the great war of Mahabharata along with the Pandavas. It’s also believed that the Pandavas lived in this part during their exile and even Rama, Sita and Laxmana were believed to have spent in this region, now Bhadrachalam. Later, it has housed great dynasties like Satavahanas, Kakatiyas and then the Muslim rule by Delhi Sultanate followed by Brahmanis, Qutub Shahis, Mughals and later Asafjahi dynasty established the Hyderabad state.

Post-independence in Dec’53, the States Reorganization Commission (SRC) was formed to create states upon linguistic basis, which initially didn’t favor the merger of Telangana region with the Andhra state, despite the common language. Following a ‘Gentlemen’s Agreement’ – providing reassurances to both parties in terms of power sharing as well as administrative domicile rules and distribution of expenses of various regions; a deal was brokered by Nehru as he mentioned it as a matrimonial alliance having “provision for divorce” if the partners cannot get on well.

There was never a satisfaction upon the execution of the Gentlemen’s Agreement and so there were numerous agitations ever since, notable of them is in 1969 as the guarantees that had agreed upon were to lapse. Student agitation for the continuation of the agreement began at OU in Hyderabad that spread to other parts of the region which took a violent turn resulting into hundreds of deaths including 360 students. However, the movement lost its fizzle and took back seat till BJP promised for formation of smaller states if elected to power. The formation of 3 more states gave the hopes of T state and resulted in the formation of TRS.

The cons - Improper political system (still like the olden days), the inclination towards naxals and lack of power brokers weigh against the Pros - Two major rivers flowing through the region, the existence of various industries, the presence of varied educational institutions and most importantly Hyderabad for a stable state.

One must not forget that in a monsoon-fed country, water always is scarce and the state separation would only aggravate the claim upon this valuable resource. The already tussle unleashed upon the sharing of huge K-G basin gas reserves (a conspiracy going rounds that this could’ve lead to the untimely demise of YSR) of the home state with rest of India and any imbalance in the current inter-dependence on resources would gravely affect India as a whole.

With single city wonder development, (started by Naidu) Hyderabad has become the bone of contention and of course, to recreate another such city would incur investments to the tune of lakhs of Crores and lots of time.

Personally, I would rather approve or disapprove the formation of the state. The moot point is the elected representatives more or less would be the same and I don’t see any changes in the budget (I assume lesser revenues for the separated state) for development. The idea that smaller states would better the economic situation may not always be true considering the fact that the three states carved out in the new millennium added more woes of corruption and lawlessness (resurgence of naxals).

The current inertia only deepens the scars of division among the people and hurt the prospects of AP as a stable economic power house. The need of the hour is exhibiting a clearer & stronger leadership, well defined frame work, bringing equity among the regions and consolidating for a phased execution - either for a separation or to maintain status quo.

“When passions subside, the pain and deprivation will be felt.” ~ Jayaprakash Narayan.

Hail Obama - An Indian Perspective

2009-12-02T17:37:00.005+05:30

"Fighting terrorism is like being a goalkeeper. You can make a hundred brilliant saves but the only shot that people remember is the one that gets past you." ~ Paul Wlkinson

President Obama’s call to increase the troop strength by 30,000 and another 10K through NATO is a booster on the efforts to counter terrorism in Afghanistan. Many in the West, esp. in the US wouldn’t probably understand his logic and most term it equivalent to the ‘Nam. The most political aspect of his decision is the exit plan by July 2011, right before his re-election in 2012 - calls for mooting.

It’s not only a well-orchestrized strategy to gauze the American mood before the re-election year but a serious last-ditch attempt to salvage pride as quoted by the President himself, in ‘bringing the war to a successful conclusion’. Though many a western experts termed it as a continuation of Bush-era and lessons not learnt in the wake of increasing casualties, re-surfacing Taliban and pandemonium in Pakistan; I personally believe is an injection of Hope in this region.

If a concentrated and well-coordinated efforts as described, viz., increased drone attacks, infiltration by CIA spies, training and empowering local security forces (as in Iraq), etc. for a short-term, high intensity effort would yield results as envisaged by the administration.

But, the greatest hurdle is in the form of faltering global economy; mind it, Bush could afford Iraq war even as Afghan war was in progress thanks to a booming economy. Now, with looming deficit, debt-ridden, recession, dwindling dollar, job loss/insecurity and civilian frustration the current decision would be a landmark. But, these are very causes acting in favor of the President as more and more youth are enrolling into Army with the civilian job market in disarray.

Unanswered questions though are: funding of the total war – estimates believe it would be an additional $bn30 and then on how would he decide when Afghanistan can stand on its own. The reigning corruption by the Karzai govt. has only added to the woes as vexed civilians looked back upon Taliban and not to rule out Pakistan’s involvement.

His consultation with the Indian Prime Minister and a prolonged “very explicit” conversation with Afghan counterpart are an indication that he has taken every other aspect into consideration before taking up the decision. The interaction with later was upon the proper utilization of the funds allocated in counter-terrorism operations and a word more than a promise to curb corruption. It comes close on the heels of warning Pak of proper action against the terrorists.

I would hence, not concur with Thomas Friedman, that US becomes weak by committing time and resources to Afghan war but would really turn into a stronger ally to India and China by clearing or helping to clear Afghan of Taliban. How would it NOT make economic sense in partnering with the World's two fastest growing economies? I sense a secret understanding by the US with India and China over a stable Afghanistan.

"Terrorism is the price of an empire. If you do not wish to pay the price, you must give up the empire." ~ Pat Buchanan

2012 - A New Beginning

2009-11-19T12:40:00.002+05:30

“Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.” ~ Brian Tracy

With an enormous budget for the publicity this movie created enough buzz in everyone’s mind. And as I went to a theatre, I was told that its packed for the whole day. This really made me curious and after moving around a few more multiplexes, I bought the tickets for the evening show on the release day.

It was spectacular visual treat of graphics and the events that panned out in the movie, but was not convinced that such a massive disaster will start and culminate in such a short span of time. Move over, the idea of the date for the apocalypse, I believe it only creates some real good for the Earth and human than what it is depicted in the movie.

Apocalypse in Greek means "lifting of the veil" or "revelation" is a term applied to the disclosure to certain privileged persons of something hidden from the majority of humankind. Today the term is often used to refer to the end of the world or Armageddon, which may be a shortening of the phrase ‘apokalupsis eschaton’ which literally means "revelation at the end of the æon, or age". (source: Wikipedia)

The term Eschaton refers to the end of the present world and is addressed in the study of eschatology. Eschatology: Eschatos meaning "last" and -logy meaning "the study of" is a part of theology and philosophy concerned with what are believed to be the final events in the history of the world, or the ultimate destiny of humanity, commonly referred to as the end of the world. Every religion has its prophesy upon this. In Christianity it refers to doctrine that represents a history of inquiry into the concept of the destiny of all things, in Christian context; this inquiry is vested in the prophesied purposes of God as documented in the Bible.

Contemporary Hindu eschatology is linked in the Vaishnavite tradition to the figure of Kalki, or the tenth and last avatar of Vishnu before the age draws to a close, and Shiva simultaneously dissolves and regenerates the universe. Islamic eschatology is concerned with the al-Qiyāmah "Last Judgement". Islam teaches the bodily resurrection of the dead, the fulfillment of a divine plan for creation, and the immortality of the human soul; the righteous are rewarded with the pleasures of Jannah "Heaven" while the unrighteous are punished in Jahannam "Hell".

Jewish eschatology is concerned with the Jewish Messiah, afterlife, and the revival of the dead. Frashokereti (frašō.kərəti) is the Avestan language term for the Zoroastrian doctrine of a final renovation of the universe, when evil will be destroyed, and everything else will be then in perfect unity with Ahura Mazda. The term probably means "making wonderful, excellent".

I rather prefer it as an end of cycle to the total end. I believe in the Universal Coconsciousness, an awakening of critical mass of people with the longing for a peaceful and harmonious world. And I guess the consciousness being built on varied issues like, poverty, terrorism, environment, etc. now would draw to the required levels creating the New Heaven on Earth. This is evident in the way more and more people showing interest in the mystic and ancient sciences. I was surprised when people reacted positively on faith, occult(mystic) discussions of late. All the efforts by organizations like Antharyaami, Landmark Forum are towards achieving this collectivism.

The apocalypse hence would be for the evil to unveil a new dawn for the Humanity. If this is what we’re to see unfolding, then I would be happier settling with the date: 12/21/12.

“The ultimate function of prophecy is not to tell the future, but to make it. Your successful past will block your visions of the future.” ~ Joel Barker

Wake Up, Naresh!

2009-11-15T13:11:00.008+05:30

Learn to let your intuition—gut instinct—tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn’t good for you (and conversely, when what you’re doing is just right).” ~ Oprah Winfrey

The first messages were Congratulations on hearing that I’d quit my job. This is rather shocking to get such reactions at such a situation but it happened with me. Messages/calls poured in enquiring about it. Some expressed shock, some asked about my future plans while some asked if I’d informed my family but everyone complemented my decision.

Even one of my VPs had a long chat with me at his office and said that it’s only a small break and nothing to be worried. He asked me to look at it as an opportunity to adjust myself with my wife and take time to understand her better; our relationship being more important than the job. He went a little head asking if I could look for a shift within the organization and even gave contacts on where to approach for, said he would recommend me if required.

I always feared how would I manage and how would I take a decision to quit? But, I found an inner strength to do and I felt quiet relieved. Things are never as bad as they seem. The situations that cause us sorrow are the ones that introduce us to the strength, power and wisdom that we truly are.

It was a really tough decision considering my recent change in status to a married man, my wife moving in and we just accommodating each other. But, there has been a relentless support from friends, colleagues and other associations. I’m shown numerous opportunities, providing me a huge choice and ushering me not to hurry. Not to mention to the great emotional anchoring by all of friends & family, it’s become easy for to handle the current situation.

Ever since, I’ve attended close to a dozen gatherings/weddings/functions, spent near a week at home during festival, watched half a dozen movies and started to read books. All these things which I’d almost shelved in the last year and half, I woke up to senses other than just work. It’s grandly relaxing and rejuvenating, though I made sure I don’t get addicted.

Now, the search is on and already see the end of the tunnel. But I've learnt to find my instincts and act on them, finally.

“I think the person who takes a job in order to live - that is to say, for the money - has turned himself into a slave.” ~ Joseph Campbell

From Independence to Inter-dependence

2009-11-12T20:45:00.002+05:30

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~ Judith Viorst

It was a feeling of paradox when my wedding date was announced. It was on 15th of August, the day was decided though out of choice, of course, not mine. Many wished me and wondered on how I ended up choosing this particular date, while most wished me that I chose to lose my independence as every other Indian celebrates their independence. Some even saw that I'll always have an off-day on my wedding anniversary. As the things sank and we've begun into our new roles, I now understand the gravity of the decision made and the responsibility of working it is quiet daunting, at times.

I recon declaring that this phase of my life would be called inter-dependence; I found that it’s easier said than done. I did anticipate hurdles on compatibility issues considering for years we’ve lived in different environs, families and up-bringing. Even this kind of preparation couldn’t keep me off the surprises stored for months after. But that’s the beauty of it, I guess.

Though, both of us have to get involved with each other’s parents & families, I’d got away with lesser interaction with theirs. Probably, it’s mostly true with all male partners in India. Especially, the way she behaves and goes around with my parents gives me an immense satisfaction. She started to live with my family from the day one while I get to visit theirs for occasions and vacations. So, I truly admire the way she’d accommodated herself into the new role, quiet effortlessly as I continue to struggle to adjust most of my mundane chores around her.

All young women begin by believing they can change and reform the men they marry. They can't. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Not explicitly expressed, she has her set of notions about marriage and her own idea/ideals of the MAN. So, when deviations occur to her standards, there is a rupture and friction between us. The only two standards that she’d are NO Smoking and No Drinking. I’m averse to the former but the later has been a legacy since my adulthood, so she already has made the concession. This is quite evident when we together attend functions, gatherings, etc. Yesterday I’ve earned a big Kudos from her for not drinking at a party where I’ve attended with all my regular booze gang.

I amaze myself sometimes on guessing her actions/reactions and feel surprised to find she knows my next moves, at times; a constant exploration of our souls. We do have arguments - those that help us get to understand each other & our view-points better and we were, of course, never been informed that it would be a bed of roses. Though a sulk here and there also renews our romance and keeps us going, but at times I believe I always have the advantage.

So far the journey has been good not like an expressway but with smooth a ride with some small rough patches. And as we reflect at other couples, we try to retain the good characteristics simultaneously warding off the not-so-good ones. Moreover, we need to fight out our own demons. As I end this post I ponder upon this beautiful saying and try amending myself.

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~ Barnett R. Brickner

The Beethoven of our lives

2009-09-08T12:15:00.009+05:30

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." ~ Ben Williams

A man is known for his strengths, weaknesses and achievements but most often it’s forgotten that the wholeness is achieved with his fears and of overcoming them. I bumped into this cutie when he was less than three months and right away walked into my heart.

I’d a fierce fear about dogs and especially having them as pets. I do remember a long time during my early childhood of evincing interest in having a pet which was harshly declined by my mom sighting that I spend mostly in hostels and that our dad has frequent transfers. Whatever was the core cause, never was I comfortable with dogs, ever since. But, this guy just leapt at seeing me and it turned into a mini chase, me trying to evade him. It was my first experience with a St. Bernard.

I cherished the socks he pulled with his teeth for long; slowly but surely I fell in love with this puppy, which grew at tremendous pace. I saw his parents and they were pretty heavier than I and he started to just turn into one such fella. Watching ‘Beethoven’, movie made me relate to this guy even further, increasing my liking towards him. More and more visits made me overcome one of my biggest fears about dogs and I thank him for helping me do this.

When Suvarna called me in the middle of the night, sobbing and wailing of his demise; for a moment I was speechless and reached her immediately. When I saw him lying in the backseat of my friend’s car, I felt that he was breathing and many times over as I saw made me believe the same. It’s the way ‘Angelo’ always sleeps - quiet unless my dear friend (Raghav) starts snoring; that’s when he takes on a competition to kick off the roof.

I prayed God that he just wakes up and barks at us the way he does whenever we visit him. But, no such miracle happened and we needed to wait till the morning to rest him, forever, in peace. As I put the soil over him I said, it’s such a short time he was in our lives and everything changed. One of our friends replied that though they occupy for a very short time, they change everything around them, rather, we change everything around them.

As he left, he also cleared one of my other fears, about graveyards and entering them. I'll miss the long walks, quick chases, the antics and tuntrums he does when not in mood.....

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” ~ Roger Caras.

Remember the Time….. RIP MJ

2009-06-27T08:35:00.005+05:30

"I was a veteran, before I was a teenager." ~ Michael Jackson

My blog wouldn't complete its character if I fail to pay homage to the ‘King of POP’, probably the greatest singer to unite the world together. The very mention of the name MJ, evokes a positive energy, enthusiasm and cult to most of my generation. He’s well-known as a dancer in the younger kids than of a singer. We grew up in the ‘Dangerous’ days but while we’d taken time to witness the passed ‘Thriller’ to be part of the “History”. The “Earth Song” is still is very enthralling and the expression of rebellion in ‘they don’t really care of us’ - how would one forget.

I owe all the inspiration, credit and passion for towards dance, to him and he was adored and revered by most of my friends. We used to listen to his high pitched voice with the most possible loud volume and had collection of cassettes, we did treasure them. When the “History” was released, I remember waiting for the shop to be opened to buy it. It was my first two cassette collection and we were very happy to see some of the lyrics and many photographs of MJ. I remember it placing at the top of the stack (cassettes) in my collection. My parents were annoyed (probably by then they understood of his transsexual nature, child molestation charges, etal) but I was least concerned, rather unaware of these things.

He has many credits to his name not just in Music but elsewhere something like Plastic surgery. I guess he has popularized this medical intervention than any other doctor or individual. It was used to cure patients who were badly damaged bodies/looks during accidents etc but not to beautify but I guess he enhanced the latter credibility. Of course, I still can recollect so many caricatures and mockery in so many music videos on his dropping nose, etc.

He also is credited for the revitalizing Pop when the Rock culture was ruling and also was responsible to have sold the maximum no of music videos. The likes of MTV gave no bones about mentioning it and are reflected in the way they bombarded some of his hits in the entire day, yesterday.

I remember how I’d wished I were in Mumbai to witness his first & only concert in India, I pleaded with my dad that we could be there. I could recollect those scenes of him emerging on to the stage, out of a spacecraft like machine, in a glittering suit as Mumbai crowd just went crazy. During my graduation, I was part of group which won accolades and prizes in inter-college dance competition and it was MJ act that took us to peaks. I vividly can recount the hours of rehearsals we made in the late nights till early hours of the next day just to get ourselves achieve the right moves. The moonwalk, the hip jig and the slams are part of his demeanor.

Sure! He has been an inspiration for a multiple generations. Though, this man had his share of woes, troubles, flops and almost bankruptcy he’d planned to erase all of them with his series of London performances, which never became a reality. How else would you estimate the popularity of this man to the current generation, when the news of his demise triggered network breakdowns on Internet and the high volume hits on Google and Twitter were rendered ineffective providing service to its users. Still, you end up on a error page as you search for MJ on Google, that's phenomenal !!!!

"Michael Jackson lit the fuse that ignited the spirit of dance in us all. He gave us a song and a sweet melody that will never die. Now we all carry his legacy with joy and pride." ~ MC Hammer

Swimmer Beware !!!

2009-06-17T19:21:00.003+05:30

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity” ~World Health Organization, 1948

Recuperating from a gastrointestinal problem, I was wondering what could have caused me such a serious problem. I’ve been diagnosed with an intestinal infection and I wondered why I’d contacted at the first place. Though I rarely eat at home, I dine mostly at decent restaurants and eat-outs and also ensure in most occasions to sip in treated/mineral water. So, when the doc told me that I’ve an intestinal infection, I was quiet perplexed.

The aftermath of the suffering for two days, I got to relax for one more day and today evening, I checked my various social networking accounts and my personal emails to scrap, poke and twitter and though to post a few rumblings. I got a welcome break from the hectic recession-pressure job for couple of days.

So as usual, browsing my fav sites, I fumbled upon this very interesting article in NYTimes, about the intestinal parasites in some swimming pools. It got me interested and thoughts just drifted me to the outing I’d a few days back at a resort. We were there celebrating a success meet with many of my colleagues and after a game of cricket we jumped in the pool. We’d a tiring evening with playing polo and then pushing one another into the pool.

In this chaos, I was pounced upon by two guys and struggled for a little while gulping a little water. And walking off from the pool, I quiet couldn’t enjoy the party there after, I was away from alcohol and sticking to more of water and juice. But, never did I experience the kind of stomachache I’d in the last two days. It was not continuous but really painful as if somebody is squeezing the intestines.

After a few tests and suspected gastric/ulcer problem it’s diagnosed as an intestinal infection. So, reading the article, I got to know that the culprit is a micro organism called cryptosporidium, it’s a parasite transmitted in an egg like shell that can survive as long as 10days even in chlorinated water. Symptoms of crypto resemble those of food poising, though most cases clear up their own, the illness can require hospitalization.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention in 2007 this parasite was responsible for 31 recreational water outbreaks involving 3726 people in US alone, which is up from 7 outbreaks and 567 in 2004. As such in India, we don’t even have any standards to maintain pools, one may understand the implications.

So, next time you’re in a swimming pool be sure that water is not cloudy, tiles should not be slick and filtration machines hum in the background. When in doubt about water quality, people should intimate the pool operator, if necessary, the local health department and the best act at that point is not to plunge.

So, next time you're in a pool: Swimmer beware!!!

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway ~ Anonymous

I made myself count

2009-04-16T12:57:00.001+05:30

“Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few” ~ George Bernard Shaw.

On this polling day today, I’d a beautiful experience, something that I would prove great Shaw wrong. For the first time I’ve seen such a huge turnout especially since early in the morning. There was a long queue and high security. I could see the evolving of Indian voting system in the last 10 years or so. I’d in total voted 3 times past my electoral age including one by-election.

The amazing scene is that I get to watch kids being brought by the parents to the polling stations and I guess it creates precedence to the next generation about the importance of voting. Frankly, politics, politicians and elections were scowled by parents of my generation and to see what I’d witnessed today is a welcome change.

It appeared a determination to create change, a change for themselves in every electorate’s face. There was a look of responsibility and ownership in each of the face creating a large positive energy around the place. Another, important change from the past is the way the elections were being conducted, this time around. There was no fuss from the ‘polling agents’ of the parties with police putting them a mile away from the polling station.

When one of the contestants visited, the scene was somber and grave. He just walked through the electorate without any voice, just holding arms in salutation with almost no response from any of us. (I returned his namaste with a nod) This gave me a sense that all of them already have decided whom to vote like I’d come with a per-determined mind.

The use of technology not restricting to the EVM (Electronic Voting Machine) has gone past in identifying the polling station, like I’d approached an agent of the party and he’d a scanned copy of the total voter list of that locality and as I presented my card to him he searched for my polling booth over the laptop. Earlier the same exercise took more than 15 min and at least 3-4 of them scrolling the physical copies of the list.

I’d also witnessed a much younger first timers eagerly participating and patiently waiting to cast the vote. There was a kind of competition among a group who’re split in different polling stations and comparing how big their queues were, taking pride being in the lengthier queue.

As I talk of these changes I can’t discount the role of media both electronic & print role through whom various organizations, NGOs and govt. dept. have reached to the younger voters in establishing the importance of casting a vote. While I was returning home, I was listening to the radio where a first time voter was sharing her experience of voting. There was an excitement and energy in her voice that her feeling of being counted, accounted and responsible for the betterment of her, her family, society and nation at large.

Today I believed that I made myself count and account for.

“Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?” ~ Robert Orben.

30's the new 20's

2009-03-13T10:25:00.004+05:30

“When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn't her youth he is seeking but his own” ~ Lenora Coffee.

No! Hold on! I’m not hinting at falling in love with a teen. Yeah! Age 30 is now seen as the new 20 even in the fashion circles and no not ‘coz I’m fast closing on to it. There were times when I was told by my parents, friends, relatives, colleagues that I would be left alone as a single and kept bugging me about my ‘marriage’ but I’ve realized of late how liberated, free and comfortable I’m - being single.

The choices it offers is enormous - whether it is to concentrate on career or freak out till late hours or just party along with the college students or enjoying dining outside regularly or even cooking your own food or go on a long drive or zip up off to a short vacation or the numerous scores of friends helping to hook you with someone known to them or catching up a drink whenever wanted to and of course the fun of flirting with anyone around.

Of course, I’ve not discarded the whole idea of marriage altogether but the choice to remain single as long as I would find ‘the most suited one’ is exciting than to worry of the age and get married, though, at least in the last couple of years I’ve not done any research in finding or attempted to find for that ‘most suited one’.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter” ~ Mark Twain

Well, in the previous generation, age 25-27 was considered quiet ripe to get married ‘coz by then most were financially stable, settled in the careers, etc. but now the path to career only emerges at the early 30’s and considering the financial stability concurrent to the lifestyle happens only around this time emerging 30’s as the new 20’s.

That’s why this segment has become the aficionado for most marketing strategies as this group has the most expendable income for anything ranging from vacation to gadgets to simply spending on anything for nothing.

“I'm not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You're as old as you feel” ~ Elizabeth Arden.

Considering that the current global meltdown and the subsequent events we’re witnessing will not be felt for at least another 3 generations to come, the status from nuclear to atomic families is beginning take shape.

Addressing a gathering of mostly 20’s recently on financial planning; I’ve noticed an interesting finding, contrary to my belief that they still wouldn’t assume the concept of atomic families in future, as they believe that people can’t stay alone, sweet news again for marketers ‘coz they can squeeze the same person to the max at two different life stages.

“The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy” ~ Oscar Wilde

Happy V-Day!!!

2009-02-14T22:51:00.003+05:30

Happy Valentine's Day !!!!

For all those loving themselves and loving others as much as themselves.............

I Dared to Dare

2008-11-13T10:44:00.005+05:30

“Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love -- George Eliot”

Cricket! This is another topic on my blog that captured enough space and interest. There were instances where I'd predicted darker days with my post: “Is Indian cricket going the Hockey way”, which turned out to be headlines after a few days in one of the leading dailies. This time around it’s just not the series winning Indian team against the Aussies but about an individual who brought a culture and an attitude to the team, much before the Dhoni’s & 20-20’s came and at a time when it was in deep crisis – of survival, of existence. Of course, the irony is that it really did him in later; that his brand of cricket and cricketers has forbidden him in his draught days.

Sourav Ganguly – this name evokes many an emotion with everyone who knows about Indian cricket. You either love him or hate him but can’t just ignore him. His story would surely make for a great Hollywood BO hit, esp. his comeback is reminiscent of a reality television. Life, I believe, is never a coincidence. Like all the ironies of life, his last innings is a more than a mere coincidence. He was a controversial pick for the England tour long back where he’d a dream debut at Lord’s with a stunning century while on his last innings faced Krejza, who was also a controversial pick scalping eight wickets in the debut innings.

The sense of drama hung over him the moment when he faced the ball; with all the grand reception as he entered with crowd and Aussie cricketers alike, with the later burying all their ill feelings and rivalry over years. He also bettered his record against Australia in this series with a fairytale century that made everyone speculate if he wanted to change his mind to continue in tests and an almost three digit in the first innings.

But, as these destiny’s children faced each other and seemingly fitting to the occasion; the contest within contest ended between the two, nobody other were involved. As he gently nudged the ball to a leading edge and Krejza diving in front to accept it - the formalities were finished and an eternal debt cleared between the two, forever. The stadium stood in utmost silence except for the Aussie fielders while even Ganguly was crestfallen on his heels for a few agonizing seconds probably making the whole moment freeze as a snapshot into history.

Those few seconds would always be etched in his memory like the roar that burst after it - like the newborn’s shrieking announcement of his entry into the world. His gaze at the sky while passing off the field conveyed varied emotions of communication with his God – thanking him for all the support these years and/or of questioning the tragic end his farewell outing turned out to be. Now, the Bengali pride, Indian alike would love to compare his last outing with that of the great Don who was also dismissed on a ‘duck’ in his last innings and ofcourse couldn’t manage a “golden” one.

I would end the post on a nostalgic way this series has been with Kumble bidding adieu and now Dada following, the double ton by Laxman, Gambhir cementing himself with the double ‘n single tons and creating a formidable opening pair with Sehwag. Forget not the performances of our bowlers, debut of Mishra; Ishant’s man of series performance and Sachin’s record shattering efforts, all of which will be remembered & cherished for a long time in the Indian cricket. Dhoni’s arrival as a full fledged captain and a path towards a new era, persisting the debate upon Dravid ‘n VVS continuation.

Pondering over his illustrious career, Dada commented that, "If I'd the power to do so, I would just like to change one thing. I would have liked to win the World Cup Final", concludes "I'm going out with the belief that I gave everything that I'd for my country."
"The past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct..." ~ Wong Kar Wai, In the mood for love.

Remembering Gandhi, the Great!!!

2008-10-02T13:03:00.011+05:30

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
I find it pleasantly surprising to find the profoundness of what Gandhi said then, it makes me really feel how wiser I turned out to be, that probably explains my liking towards him. On the occasion of World Non-Violence Day, the “Greatest Man ever walked on the Earth” has to be remembered. In the morning, I was watching a movie of Gandhi and was quiet impressed by some of his comments/dialogues.
When a reporter asks him if he can shackle the British by starting the Dandi March, he replies that the situation only worsens by resisting/confronting the British but by accepting and enduring their atrocities, they would realize what they’re creating. This sounds quiet unimaginable to approve of but in this current world order, his teachings find more meaning and relevant.

“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

I remember once I was confronted by a question - Can I forgive a terrorist, would you? I reacted conventionally saying that I can’t for all the things he has done. I’ve put up all my logic. But, going by what Gandhi said you make him weak by forgiving him. I don’t mean to say that he shouldn’t be punished but could you forgive him is the question?

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
What are we running for/against? Why is that we find less and less time as we grow more and more? For all the things that we grapple for the lack of time to do things that we like or dilike, he spelt the eternal answer.

“There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.”

How many times have we really listened to ourselves? How many times have we really stuck to our decisions and how many times have we derided ourselves for whatever done or undone or not done? He has an answer for that too.

“The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.”

I guess we don’t need to refer Gita or Quran or Bible to look for lives answers, he has lived a whole life with us and among us, as a human. Of course, you may find a lot objections and negatives about his actions, for that matter of anyone but he counters in a very beautiful way.

“The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted.”

A Hundred and One

2008-06-23T23:07:00.003+05:30

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection” ~ Anais Nin.

I’ve completed a century of posts over this blog. It took quiet a long time than I’d earlier envisaged. Like any such milestones, I looked at what I’ve been squabbling of late equally bothering my readers. I do also recollect some critic reviews upon my anniversary blog for what it turned out to be. Still, I manage to get views, reviews and comments that keep me going. So, just as a retrospection I looked at the labels I’ve been using; that could clearly point out what topics I was addressing all these days. The results are amazing…

The label I’ve most utilized is: Blues. Truly, most of the posts have been upon my experiences, thoughts, beliefs and importantly moods/mood swings. Then of course, its WOMEN and Girls - part of the success of this blog is attributed to this "hot" topic, which has been my tryst to understand them or them to understand me. A travail that continues, still!

Some of other labels are: Sports as broader topic while F1 and Cricket occupies the larger space. Interestingly even Kabaddi featured equally with Hockey, our national game. Conservation and the greener efforts, Finance, Inflation, Stock markets, Money meltdowns have been the common feature. What stuck me most is the mention of Gandhi and Love at even; something of research stuff.

"Of no day can the retrospect cause pain to a good man. - Martial (Marcus Valerius Martialis)"

Parents, Parties and Weddings were the same count. I see the connection here. And as per the list, it goes……Adolescence Airport America Amex Anniversary Artificial Intelligence Bali Agreement BCCI beauty Bio-Tech Birthday Blues Boss Branding Cards Career Carl Gustav Jung Cell Phone China Church Cities CNN-IBN coach Cocktails Conservation Cousins Cricket Crush Cyrus Dad Dating Deja Vu Delhi Divorce Dollar Dowry Dr. Haneef Dr.Kortsch EcoSphere Electronic Media Employee benefit F1 FabCity Family Father's Day father-in-laws Firing Forgetting Formula for perfect face friends Gerd Gigerenzer GHG Girls Global Warming Good-name Greenpeace Greetings Handwriting Analysis Hyderabad Hypnosis ICL IIT India Indians Infosys Instincts IOC IPCC IT Industry Jumpa Lahiri Kimi Raikonnen Kofi Annan Laws Lawyers love Mahatma Gandhi Mails Mark Twain marriage Masjid Blast Mediterranean Cusine Men's rights Michael Gurian MIT MNS MRI mutation Namesake NASA Network marketing new immigration laws new outsourcing New Year Newspaper Nikolai Gogol Orkut Parents Party Past Life Perfect face Personality development Pet-name PLRT Politicians Pub Rave Party Regions relationship Retail Retirement Saira Mohan SBI Science Senna Sienfeld sms Software SriLanka Subjective validation T20 WC Technology terrrorism Thanks Giving Tourism Training travel Trends US UTI vacation Valentine's Day VDS 200 Virginity weddings Wine Wishes Women Women's Day Workplace World Non-Violence Day Yun Shouping

"A lively retrospect summons back to us once more our youth, with vivid reflex of its early joys and unstained pleasures. - Louis Charles Alfred de Musset"

Going Thirteen Hitting Thirty

2008-06-21T21:07:00.005+05:30

“Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves” ~ Joseph Priestley

With stars in my eyes, sparkling and excited just as a teen experiencing his first crush, I turned suddenly cocky and hyper; announcing every one of my friends, my interest for the night, enquiring the whereabouts of the female with the host himself. Then experienced near heart-break knowing that she’s engaged; later to be clarified she’s still single. Ah! That one chance again! My hope has no bounds.

The last few days has been a great; attending my friend’s ‘sangeet’ and then his wedding reception yesterday. On the day of sangeet party, he introduced me to one of his guests who I fell in love with, instantaneously. She was cute, sharp and all those positive attributes. Of course, beauty is in beholder’s eyes, my eyes.

My ever encouraging friends tried hooking us up; while pulling us together on to the dance floor, et al. I was gushing and beaming trying to occupy all of her attention towards me and never stopped staring at her at any given chance. I’d made innumerable plans on how to approach for the next meeting. I’ve been given enough advice upon what dress should I wear for the reception, my next chance meeting her; what to speak with her so that I don’t bore her with my ‘wisdom’.

On the D-day, I’ve reached direct from my office not heeding to all the advice I was bestowed earlier and met many of my friends but I was searching in the crowd for her. And then she arrived quiet stunning in a sari with a designer blouse revealing her tender, slender shoulders; a waist any swan would shy off; a visual treat for me.

As the groom’s sister requested me to start the dance, I said I needed company and boldly announced my interest. She was pleasantly surprised and commented that she was not my type. Now, it’s my turn for the shock. I couldn’t comprehend on why she said that and was quiet curious to know what my type meant?

For some reason, the bubble burst with those comments and didn’t quiet find myself pursuing her any more during the party. But, during this whole event I was quiet excited to evoke my dormant sense of adolescence; behaving like a teenager which was quiet nostalgic and fun.

"Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest." ~Karen Savage and Patricia Adams, The Good Stepmother

Father's Day !!!

2008-06-17T19:17:00.002+05:30

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes

Of late my weekends have gone haywire as I’ve been working on both Saturday ‘n Sunday. Last Sunday I’ve received a sms from one of my team-members wishing me “A Happy Father’s Day”. I'm not a Dad or fathered anyone. I replied saying that it would’ve ‘een better to have sent the same to her father.

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller

A brief history into Father’s Day: Sonora Dodd, of Washington, first had the idea of a "father's day" to honor her father, William Smart, who was a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife died while giving birth to their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington State.

After Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

President Calvin Coolidge, in 1924, supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Then in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law which finally made it permanent in 1972

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. ~ Helen Rowland

Though I’ve never celebrated Father’s Day with my dad or wished him on that day (its completely alien to Indian culture) this time around I felt guilty. He’d called me requesting me to do a favor. I’ve processed that info; waited for the things to happen while my dad pounded with follow-up calls. As mentioned, I was working on Sunday and this created quiet an inconvenience. I’d to shout back at him.

After-a-while, I realized what I’ve done and called him to speak out the issue completely. At least I felt lighter with that.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. ~ Charles Wadsworth

Why Have I Not Married Yet?

2008-06-02T23:30:00.011+05:30

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle ~ Amy Bloom."

One of my friends once commented that rejecting girls while choosing/selecting for a life partner is like chopping the trees in a wood; so, when you look around there will be no more trees. That thought gave me jitters when I was recently questioned about my choice of girl for life partner.

Of late, ‘getting married’ has turned into a sort of a priority (my boss always educates me on prioritizing things in life). Its become a necessity not that I’m wanting to have someone with me but I’m condemned for even a weekly off by my big boss, (though, on a lighter note) just made me sit and really think about. Now, I don’t want to start all of my past experiences and so many posts I wrote over this topic.

Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience ~ Samuel Johnson"

Yesterday, when I’d sent a forward on the libido of the married men, I got varied responses: one of my female friends commented as if it were true while another guy (married) assured me that he would get me married, and some foul language. Coincidentally today, as I was browsing over the net, I landed up on one very interesting survey and book “So Why Have You Been Never Married? – Ten Insights into Why He Hasn’t Married”. At first I thought this to be another Ten-point series book but the excerpt made me research a little more about it.

"Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near ~ Helen Rowland"

You probably know the guy -- the one who's attractive, but not gay; caring, but not preachy; great with kids, but not creepy; and strangely still single. All people known to me agree with this description of mine.

This book by Carl Weisman aims to answer just that. The author, who posited the question to himself, as a 47-year-old bachelor, couldn't give an honest answer. So he decided he'd seek it out. Not surprisingly, he discovered there isn't one perfect answer. Weisman said some men have no desire to ever marry, while others agree they would like to give it a shot some day. Many said they haven't found the right person. And financial issues, both positive and negative, played a large part in their fear of commitment.

I remember once I was kind of interviewed /interrogated by my friend’s wife on why I don’t want to get married. Even I couldn’t give a straight answer; its not that girls don’t interest me or am I completely afraid of commitment but there was no answer, no proper answer. One may call it negative thinking but I remember those words after I was made to meet a girl, “if at all we were to go ahead, it sure would end-up in a divorce!”. Probably I just figured out my innate fear; I was not afraid of marriage but sure of bad marriage.

Did Weisman find the answer? He said: "... It crystallized the fact that if I didn't change, things wouldn't change. And I wanted things to change."

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages ~ Fredrick Nietzsche."

Birthdays are Happy ???

2008-04-22T11:07:00.004+05:30

"We know when we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it ~ Anon."

I’d to change the start of this post thanks to calls from my female friends quiet bothered and obsessed about my age. So, the first time I’m penning down on my birthday and to clear things out that I’m now 29. The first thing after they wished was to ask of my age; its not that the question bothers me but I failed to understand why only the fairer sex were asking this. (the gender debate ends here)

While one of them responded as “only 29” (while I was looking it as “already 29”) and asked me to not to worry about it as I’ve at least got 29 more years to live & relish; the other was of the opinion that she wants me to remind of my age and responsibilites (marriage, etc) and bring me back to planet Earth.

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni"

Yeah! This birthday is also completely different as I would be spending with my colleagues the entire day for that matter the entire week as I’m in Mumbai attending ‘strategy meet’ of my company. Its exciting ‘coz since morning I was wished by my office buddies & bosses and we were traveling ever since…..(as I write this I’m still in the bus trying to reach the resort). The pleasant surprise is a mail from my diro (KIAMS) wishing me of my b’day and I happened to be on a ‘strategy’ meet, something that would interest him.

"Very early, I knew that the only object in life was to grow. - Margaret Fuller"

The day started, actually yesterday never really ended as I was working late night and I started receiving calls. By the time I’d planned to take a nap, the cab driver had come to pick me up for the airport (he was at my gate at least an hour before the scheduled time). Even the flight landed in Mumbai by 10 min earlier than the schedule and so I was stuck at the lounge sitting and receiving the messages ‘n calls.

The only respite would be the ‘cocktail party’ in the night of course before which I’d to endure the sessions from noon till evening by my CEO ‘n top management. I hope to successfully survive the ordeal to tell you the rest of the proceedings.

“Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.” ~ Anon.

Wooo…men’s Day!!!

2008-03-09T01:25:00.011+05:30

"Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~ Quentin Crisp"

The celebrations are already over as write this post on the destined day - (International) women’s day (IWD). I’m no MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig) and I acknowledge and appreciate the whole idea of celebrating this day. But, with too much of media coverage on the so (called) successful women, it doesn’t really turn out to be the one that was meant to be.

As I woke up, I’d seen a lot of hoopla about the day - the women who made it big, their opinions on a women’s well-being, how ‘n why the day has to be celebrated, even how feminism has empowered men to that of not requiring men for the furtherance of motherhood (ofcourse the offspirng would only be a female) and some inputs on how the men can please their girls, wives, mothers, ladies, etc. More ‘n more energies are spent on covering the glamorized feminity that conceptualized the women’s day and lot more was lost in the translation – the real people for whom it was to be fought: like the Jessica, Aiyesha’s ‘n Srilakshmi’s who were deprived of justice, dignity and honor. Most people don't know the history behind this day.

So, like another sheep in the heard, I'd been to a pub in the night to celebrate a get-together only to coincide with this grand occasion. We’ve been to one of the star hotel pubs in the city and had a ball of a time. There was a VJ flown in from Mumbai for this occasion and a gala is planned out. He was trying to pep the women to talk and speak about what they feel about this day and for questions like 'what women can do that men can't do?' a girl replied that nothing much different but cant say in public how she is better-off than a guy (dont know what she was planning to mention) and our visitor concluded that "women strip better than men". I ventured to the VJ and queried if he knows why the IWD is celebrated or if any of the women in the pub knows it but as he himself doesn't know the answer he replied saying that its a special day for women 'n lets make them feel better.

The first IWD was observed on 28th Feb in the US following a declaration by Socialist Party of America. Among other relevant historic events, it commemorates the Triangel Shirtwaise Factory (New York, 1911), where over 140 women lost their lives. The idea of having an international women's day was first put forward at the turn of the 20th century amid rapid industrialization and economic expansion that led to protests over working conditions. By urban, women from clothing and textile factories staged one such protest on 8th March in New York. The garment workers were protesting against very poor working conditions and low wages. The protesters were attacked and dispersed by Police. These women established their first labor in the same month two years later. More protests followed on 8 March in subsequent years, most notably in 1908 when 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.

Thanks to our ‘sardar’ friend, we were having our drinks adjucent to the exclusive woman’s area (don’t get me wrong, its jus the dance floor). Unfortunately, I forgot the fact that it was women’s day ‘n tried to woo a woman. With the encouragement of my friends and my innate mischief taking clues, I’d ventured to a girl (dancing in a group of girls) to offer a rose to wish a ‘Happy Women’s Day’. The other girls “acted” shock and resumed dance while the girl tried to be normal. As to me I tried to be as normal as she could be while I’d resumed dancing with my friends – only to forget that it’s a woo….men’s day!!!!!

Though I never regretted for the act, I admonished myself for not being more judgmental.

"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. ~ Anon"

Happy Valentine's Day !!!

2008-02-14T09:24:00.006+05:30

Last year, I've posted the many shades of love and forgot to mention this one.
Oh! folks!!! Dont worry, I'm fine - my heart still is with me, safe.
"Evening wind, morning frost: These things make solitude beautiful. - Yun Shouping"

For all those: loved, being loved, lost love, missing love, forgotten love, found love, finding love, falling in love and loving: A Happy Valentine's Day!!!

The Great Indian Divide

2008-02-04T22:59:00.000+05:30

“New threats make no distinction between races, nations or regions. A new insecurity has entered every mind, regardless of wealth or status.” ~ kofi Annan.

I’m pissed off, truly pissed off; of course mayn’t make any difference to others but I’m pissed off. How the integrity of India could be questioned by individuals pursuing their personal vendetta. Raj Thackeray’s Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) went on the rampage yesterday ‘n today over North Indians in Mumbai, most importantly “Indians”, wherever or whoever they’re.

Recently we stood as Indians, against the all odds in protection of Malyasian Indians and along with Harbhajan against Aussies upon the charge of racism but how do we tackle Indians attacking Indians in India. These attacks have stooped to the lowest of the lows in this country, eclipsing that of the partition. The current regional politics are adding to this cauldron. The MNS targeted Mumbai local trains, raising slogans against the community, pushed and slapped commuters threatening them to leave Mumbai.

Earlier, the nation has tolerated attrocities against a certain community in Gujarat but saw to it that certain respect, esteem and justice is done. But, this new low has no community as target but region as a whole. This directly questions the Indian constitution - Federal in nature and the fundamental rights of every citizen to live anywhere in India.

All I wish is that such incidents are curtailed at the very earliest and are not encouraged at all. This great Indian divide should go no further.

"We may have differentreligions, different languages, different coloured skin, but we all belong to one human race." ~ Kofi Annan.

The formula for sustanance

2008-01-30T23:02:00.000+05:30

"Be the change that you want to see in the world ~ Mahatma Gandhi."

During the latest International Toy Show, a very innovative toy was launched - EcoSpehere. Inside each EcoSphere are active micro-organisms, bright red shrimp and algae, each existing in filtered sea water. Because the EcoSphere is a self-sustaining ecosystem, you never have to feed the life within. Simply provide your EcoSphere with a source of indirect natural or artificial light and enjoy this aesthetic blend of art and science, beauty and balance.

As the living resources within the EcoSphere utilize their resources without overpopulating or contaminating their environment, the EcoSphere requires no cleaning and only minimal care.

The EcoSphere is the result of technology developed by scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. NASA was researching self-contained communities for space explorers to live in during long-term space flights. Out of this research came the EcoSphere - an ecosystem of animal and plant life in perfect balance.

So, where has this ‘natural’ balance gone to? How did the Earth lose its self sustaining co-existence amongst its various inhabitants? This is the post I’ve been planning to pen down for almost a month. It’s over a month since the Bali talks on Climate change have yielded towards a positive outcome with countries agreeing to find a replacement for the 1997 Kyoto Protocol.

I remember the school days when we were taught about pollution, Green House Gases (GHG) and the various ways to counter it. The first and foremost is the conservation of forests or afforestation. There was so much learning about water cycle and the importance of trees in this process and also their involvement in controlling the air pollution. Then we were taught about the Ozone layer and its fragility against pollution; the negative effects of holes in it – the solution to plant more trees and arrest further de-forestation. Now, we’re debating about climate change; how it’s affecting and how it would affect the humans in future - the culprit being the GHG emissions.

The main contention for the deadlock is upon deciding the contributions/concessions each nation has to make to cut down upon the GHG emissions. Its here where the developed and developing nations locked horns as the later doesn’t want to compromise their long awaited chance to be developed on the notion of protecting the Earth neither the former wanted to give up as they need to depend a lot more on the developing ones. But, the biggest loser in this tussle is our own dear Earth, belonging to both the worlds, something everyone is ignoring.

The good news of the outcome of these discussions is the unequivocal acceptance of climate change. With IPCC’s scientific analysis have really been well recognized and accepted over the projections of average global temperatures by the end of this century range from a best estimate at the lower end of 1.8 and at the upper end of 4.0 degrees C.

Climate change will not proceed in a smooth and linear manner, and there is already enough evidence of an increase in intensity and frequency of heat waves, droughts, floods and extreme precipitation events. (the current cold wave across India is one instance) We also have growing problems associated with melting of glaciers and overall scarcity of water across the world. The problem of sea level rise would have serious implications of scarcity of accommodating the growing populations.

The IPCC noted that the atmosphere has already warmed by an average 0.7 degrees Celsius (1 degree Fahrenheit) compared with the early 19th century, and that with an additional 1.3 degrees, totaling 2 degrees Celsius (3.4 degrees Fahrenheit), serious effects would ensue: regional water shortages; crop failures; widespread loss of coral reefs; more deaths from heat waves; more severe storms.

To simply decipher the code of Bali outcome of 2 degrees celsius, 445 parts for million of CO2 and a reduction of 25-40% in global warming gases - is the formula for saving the Earth from severe climate change consequences. To keep the cumulative rise to 2 degrees Celsius, the panel concluded, heat-trapping greenhouse gases in the atmosphere should be kept below 445 parts per million in carbon dioxide or its equivalent in other gases. The concentration is now estimated at below 400, after subtracting offsetting heat-shielding effects.

The Bali agreement proves important as the document includes financial incentives for developing nations to not to chop down their tropical forests, and significant new aid for poor countries most vulnerable to climate change. But the concrete measures which are currently only worded as 'measurable, verifiable and reportable' would be turned reality before Denmark 2009. This is why voluntary, softer emission targets for India and other major developing countries - with infusion of clean technology inputs from rich countries - would find space.

And today I've received a call from 'Greenpeace' requesting me to increase my monthly contribution for which I'd promised to double.

New Year Celebrations of a Confessing blogger!!!

2008-01-01T21:15:00.000+05:30

“The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.” ~ W.H.Auden
A Very Happy New Year to all of you. The start of this year or welcoming of this year has been quiet different for me. Probably for the first time ever, I’d one of the quietest or the quietest of celebrations at home sitting solitarily, of course, not dejected. This was neither a forced-up decision nor a voluntary one. And another first is that I received the first wishes from my parents just on dot at 00:00. This also was the first of the new years that I wasn’t expecting/awaiting call from any particular person or planning to call anyone. I did watch live on TV screen the world’s first celebrations at Sydney, Australia then spectacular views at Taipei, Taiwan and also simultaneous culmination of Goa and Hyderabad.

After a very not pleasant experience at a New Year party couple of years back, I’ve stopped attending these big parties in town. I found that the charges are exorbitant to the amenities they provide and the last time when I attended the party, there was a constant interruption by the anchor of the show inquiring if we were enjoying. That was foolish and it disturbed our dance flow and rhythm of the music.

Ever since, I banned these parties and myself had organized a private party last year. I almost did this time around when my office work took over my personal space. Even the plans to catch up at of my friends place took a beating as I’d to stay at office till 9pm and the notoriety of Hyderabad traffic took to its peak. I reached home only to freshen up and slipped into a relaxed mood picking up a glass of red wine sipping it slowly while surfing the TV channels. Thankfully, my roommate joined me a little while later also brought along with him the delicious Hyderabad biryani to accompany my wine.

After answering calls right after midnight, checking mails, replying sms I went to bed switching my phone into a silence mode. I guess it’s a pleasant and calm way to celebrate the New Year.
“No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam.” ~ Charles Lamb

A Very Happy New Year !!!

2007-12-31T13:27:00.000+05:30

"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves ~ Bill Vaughan"

New Year is all about expecting and wishing for better things to happen & come into our lives. Every year during this season, I would love to spend my time sending/receiving greeting, wishes, sms, mails and cards expressing warm wishes for the New Year. And it’s also the time to retrospect on the happenings or happened things of the past year. But, I guess we’ve reached the heights of retrospection this time around as I see too much of it bombarded through print and electronic media.

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us ~ Hal Borland"

These start from the best events/things/places/people/etc. to worst of the same. Then somebody else comes with the phrase of best of the worst and worst of the best and then the iterations of these couple of words to present us with a series of situations. The analogy of which transgress the basic human understanding. The range have included the best/worst dressed celebrity to the mug shots of it. There are episodes even on their belief of best episodes.

Countdowns apart, the death of Ms. Bhutto (with all due respects to her) turned unfortunate for the media who’ve compiled their best/worst list and their eagerness to present it to the viewers, first – have lost to mention/add that as most programs were pre-recorded/scheduled to air.

"Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits ~ Anon."

This didn’t subdue the spirits of these people as they found new programs like Coming attractions for the next year. So they started with a series of their predictions/attractions/views/sought-after/fashion/trends/etc program. Again I’m bombarded through every newspaper/TV channel/internet which is pretty hard for me to dissect and comprehend.

I hope to remember much of this rubbish and check at the end of the year to find how many of them were really true!!!

On a heavily bruised and burned past year, I retire to wish you all A Very Happy New Year. I wish and hope that the coming year would make your lives happier, merrier, wealthier, healthier, more prosperous, and more joyous.

“For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.” – T S Elliot

A year that wasn’t!!!

2007-12-13T10:16:00.000+05:30

“Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event. ~ Oscar Wilde”

It’s been a year since I started this blog. It was started as a thematic on the stock markets and personal finance. But over a period matured into my virtual diary as I dumped up my experiences and it quiet turned popular with my wedding woes. This anniversary post is inspired from the show, “the week that wasn’t” on CNN-IBN by Cyrus. So goes the year as below.

My personal life is rocking with girl friends thanks to my self-imposed playboy attitude and I’ve changed them as frequently as I changed my clothes over a weekend. I’ve been attending cocktail parties and some private rave parties while slightly hooked to the dope. That’s the high of my life this year.

Embarking on a new lifestyle, I’ve been having frequent trips to exotic locales and I’ve taken up producing a documentary on Mediterranean culinary & tourism. For all the decisions I've made during this year, I now look sane in the eyes of people around me.

After a very eventual and enjoyable journey hunting for a life-partner I’d successfully found one to get married. This much hyped & awaited event not just by me but also by many of my friends happened with great ado. The girl was a beauty, well-mannered and sophisticated. My parents are equally fond of her and she finds them the same. She easily jelled with my cousins and it was a great fat Indian wedding. The reception was grand and almost close to a hundred of my friends attended for both the wedding and the reception.

At the career front I’d a pathetic run, still sticking to the same company, not looking for options and doing the same rut for eternity. I’m paid pittance and earned a peanut bonus similar to that of an ad by one of the job portals. I’m also having one of the bitterest tiffs with my superiors so much that I either want to kill or be killed.

With reducing waistlines and increasing hairlines, I’m looking younger physically than ever and in a great shape. The best part of this phase is my rapport with my parents. It has never been this best in my entire life. The conversations are as comfortable as with any of my best of friends and there is not a hint of any strain in the relationship. The continuous stay with my parents is only bolstering this attitude. The soar point is my reducing dependence upon my friends as days progressed.

This blog turned out to be a disaster and it turned out to be senseless with the presence of ad-sense. I’m now renowned for remembering things; everything from that of mine and of others. Last but not the least; I’ve lost my virile virginity during this very phase.

So, that was my year that wasn’t.

The Namesake!!!

2007-12-12T12:08:00.000+05:30

“The reader should realize himself that it couldn’t have happened otherwise and that to give him any other name was quite out of the question.” - Nikolai Gogol, ‘The Overcoat’

I borrowed “The Namesake” (a novel by Jumpa Lahiri) from one of my friends, a few days back and told her that I would not want to return it and bartered to buy her another book of her liking. What I liked about that book is on how we are named and why we are named the names we are. I felt attached to the protagonist because I faced certain of his problems especially the things he undergoes with his parents and I remember how I felt embarrassed when I was called with my pet-name in public instead of my good name, the one I’m known to everybody as.

So, after I finished the novel, I looked around to find some funny instances. For example: What is State Bank of India doing in Duabi? How does it sound American Express doing business in India? Indian Oil Corporation in Sri Lanka and UTI Bank changing its name to Axis just to expand globally are a few instances.

The whole idea behind the branding - is also to envisage beyond the conventional. So, when you’re naming or designing a logo/brand, you’ll need to think years from now, if the brand were to grow, how would it be able to connect and communicate? So, none could imagine that one day Indian Oil Corporation, a state owned company could operate out of India and strangely with the same name with an extension IOC (Sri Lanka) Ltd.

So yesterday, as I pondered to name our informal club, we banged our heads together to find a name, not just for what it represents now but for it would when it really grows out of our vision and should also be classic that remains contemporary at any date.

What’s in a name? Its everything!!!

The Green Efforts !!!

2007-12-03T10:59:00.001+05:30

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it - Mark Twain."

When I was in school, a conservationist visited us to conduct a seminar/workshop on conservation. He wanted to start a charter in our campus and I was recommended by him to be the General-Secretary as I was the only person to explain the word “conservation” correctly in Telugu. The efforts of this charter were very limited but we were able to ban ‘candies’ in campus as the wrappers are non-bio-degradable and were replaced by biscuits when birthdays were celebrated.

Since childhood, thanks to my upbringing, I was averse to wastage and been a kind of hard-core conservationist. Over the weekend, I was going through an article by Thomas Friedman – “the people who’ve been waiting for” where he talked about engineers and professionals collaborating to bring out a hyper-efficient car, Vision 200 (shown below), that will demonstrate 95% reduction in embodied energy, materials and toxicity.

The project – “Vehicle Design Summit” involves 31 teams pioneered by MIT and comprising of teams from UK, Germany, Japan, Spain, Belgium, Italy, Brazil, India, China, Australia, Argentina, Hong Kong and Taiwan. They’ve themselves put under a war-footing deadline and by August of 2008, they aim to unveil a shiny, fully functional concept that achieves factor 10 lifecycle goals and provides a real platform for continuous improvement. Also by August 2008 a green and resilient supply chain, fully verified vehicle, LEED platinum factory design, user base of on order of 100,000 users and tested use model to keep the vehicle driving 18 hours a day will be wrapped up and released.

With the reasonable saturated market in the US, the VDS Vision will be designed for a developing market in India, China or South America. More info is available @

http://vehicledesignsummit.org/website/

As countries and their heads recognize the criticality of Global Warming, this effort is a welcome one.

"There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken - Jesus cited in Luke 21:25-26"

What do I say???

2007-12-02T23:17:00.000+05:30

“What could have Adam said to God. She’s good…. She’s free about her body… hmm…. She is going at the snake” ~ Jerry Sienfeld.
Have you ever tried to fix up a date to your friend? I can’t recollect involving in that role but remember one of my ex doing it for me after we amicably broke. I foolishly followed that adventure with little success. My experiences of trying reference or mutual friends on finding dates/girl friends have better success rate.

Thanks to my self-imposed exile from the dating scene, I’ve been single for more than a year and not even a small fling or an affair. The only times of my trips to the pub/bar/disks are through friends, casual acquaintances and stags. Then, of course, the travails of finding my life-partner have turned into a legendary proportion. There have been swearing of an oath or pact-like by my friends to get me hooked up/married ASAP; probably they find my independence too intolerable.

When one of my friends invited me to her son’s first birthday party, she promised to invite two single females (her neighbors) that I may try my luck. So, I attended the party yesterday evening along with another of our mutual friend (male).

After the hostess played the role of introducing us and asking us to give each other company, she left the scene. We (four of us) along with one more lady friend stood there listening and swinging to music and nothing much except a few words were exchanged. My male accompany was busy talking to our lady friend while I was left with the two strangers. For some reason I was in no mood to mingle.

A little while later as the cake was cut, I drifted along the crowd - watched the magic show and sat at a corner table with my male accompany. This attracted attention from the hostess’s sister; as she inquired why we’re sitting apart from the crowd for which we jokingly replied that we’re gay and happy.

Now, I’m searching for words and excuses to tell the hostess about my behavior at the party.

Shaping cities.............

2007-12-01T17:04:00.000+05:30

"Public sentiment is everything. With public sentiment nothing can fail; without it nothing can succeed. He who molds public sentiment goes deeper than he who enacts statutes or decisions possible or impossible to execute" ~ Abraham Lincoln.

Yesterday, I was catching up with one of my old friends and her husband who have come from the US to attend the wedding of her brother. We ‘created’ ourselves some leisure to catch up. After the initial introductions we’d hit upon diverse topics ranging from politics to investments (my fav) to career, etc.

It was an interesting interaction and the talk went on than we’d initially planned for. As the discussion touched on the current asset prices and the rising real-estate prices, he threw an interesting and important point on positioning of cities. I remember during my management education, in some of the marketing classes, we discussed on how a product/service has to be positioned to attract the customers.

So, what are factors that a city can position to attract investments and thereby enjoy the growth benefits? The top-of mind recall is the Infrastructure i.e. roads, power, even Government establishments to foster and quicken the business growth. Then comes the political environment that decides the policy making.

Not really comparing the cities, he wanted to bring in sense to his argument by observing the American cities like Detroit for Automobile Industry, Chicago for Commodities Trading, New York for Financial establishments and California for IT, etc. But, when you really compare the Indian cities fighting to grab the foreign investment pie, one finds there is no clear distinctive edge/differentiating factor between them.

For instance, Bangalore is considered as IT hub and vying for the same tag is Hyderabad while Chennai has certain advantages which it’s not really utilizing. The silver lining is Mumbai, which is being consciously developed as financial hub. If such clear differention is achieved, it leads to enhanced growth of the city. But, with more cities targeting the same segment, there is a higher chances of dilution and creating a confusion in the minds of the investor.

This was evident when both Bangalore & Hyderabad vied for Fab-City and Bio-City. There was split in the interests of the investors and lead to the delay in the initiation of these projects. The fact is that politicians always remain the same wherever they are: in India or America; but should imbibe relatively longer time goals in their plans.

Remembering Forgetting !!!

2007-12-01T15:41:00.000+05:30

“I've a grand memory for forgetting” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson.

My forgetting ways have reached to notorious peaks, of late. The current stage is probably the worsening of situations due to my memory lapse from infamous to embarrassing situations. I’d earlier explained my over-dependence on technology. This forgetting malady, I rather put as not remembering/not bothering to remember.
“In the practical use of our intellect, forgetting is as important as remembering” ~ William James.All my bill payments are stored in my phone with alarms at least two days from the due date and the mails I receive over the same are marked as unread. There were instances when I’d called up my girl friends and x-files on their birthday only forgetting to wish them. There were occasions when hanging out all through the day with friends, shopping along and not wishing them on their birthday. One embarrassing situation was when I'd apologized one of my customers for not sending information while I actually had sent it long back. And worse today, I forgot to collect a cheque while collecting all the documents from an investor. The pathetic situation was once I’d forgotten my own birthday.

“The existence of forgetting has never been proved: we only know that some things do not come to our mind when we want them to” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.
Couple of days back, I was to receive my cousin coming from the US. She’s been my closest confidante and buddy. As her parents were not healthy and also far off from Hyderabad, I’d asked them to stay at their native. I also took the sole responsibility of receiving her alone at the airport and so a virtual ban imposed on other members to not to be there on that day. She’s accompanied by her months-old daughter and so I’d issued a warning across our family to not to bother her with the wish-lists. So, she’d a luxury of arriving with a baggage much lesser than 50% her eligibility. (I know most of the returning Indians view it with a red eye)

“The human consciousness is really homogeneous. There is no complete forgetting, even in death” ~ D.H. Lawrence

She’d informed long before the dates of departure & arrival. We’d talked over the phone and also a day before she were to start she called me up. As for my family members, the responsibility I’ve taken made them really wary, knowing my lapses. This made my brother call me at least once a week to remind me of her arrival and also by my mother, other cousins on a regular basis. They believe that I could easily forget merrily. The worst part was when my bro called me when she was in transit to remind me of the same and another cousin called a few hours before her arrival only just to remind me.

"The extent of one's power to forget is the final measure of one's elasticity of spirit" ~ Soren Kierkegaard
As told, I’d reached at the scheduled time only to find that there are couple of more flights arriving at the same time. Suddenly, I found myself in a self-cooked soup. Luckily, my phone came to rescue as I called my bro to inquire about the origin of flight. And the mission was accomplished with no fuss and problem.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel" ~ Maya Angelou.

I was informed of the departure time of one of my friends leaving to Israel, yesterday on an official trip. So, when I’d called in the morning just to reconfirm the time, his wife replied that she would call me when they start from home to airport so that I can make it on-time.

I don’t know whether she was helpful or I’m so helpless to be supported in such a way….

"Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is necessary condition for our existence" ~ Sholem Asch.

Thank You All..........

2007-11-29T09:50:00.000+05:30

"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'thank you', that would suffice" ~ Meister Eckhart.

Yesterday night I’ve received a sms from one of my good friends reading “Are u free now. When u get time, call me. I need 2talk 2u about something personal.” I’ve checked it only after almost half hour later. And when I saw it I called him only to find his phone busy. I tried several times with the same result. I forgot for sometime and called him little while later only that he didn’t answer it. It was already late in the night.

So, early in the morning today, when I’d called him up and asked him on what the matter was, he shot back saying - when did I send you any message. I opened the message and started to read through it; he then asked me to read it completely and as I scrolled down it said, “Arabian Sea is for sale… shall we both buy it???....

My first expression was - funny? But then I really found it funny….! So, I started forwarding the same to many of my friends. There were calls continuously ever since (by the time I wrote this post) and there were replies like, “I’ll call you in half hour, I’m busy now” to “yeah some time during the day; will give call” to “ok little busy call u whn I vl b free.”

And to those who’ve called I acted normal and wished them as if they were calling me. When they ask me about the message I used the same trick I was played at. But, the best part of is that it felt great to hear from so many people early in the morning. Some, were concerned, some casual and some friendly. Of course only one guy replied that "Yes, we should". Thank you all…. I’m really grateful.

"Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of gratitude for having family and friends" ~ Courtland Milloy.

I look at it this way !

2007-11-28T11:48:00.000+05:30

The corporation is the “master”, the employee is the “servant”. Because the corporation owns the means of production without which the employee could not make a living, the employee needs the corporation more than vice versa" ~ Peter Drucker.

Today my roommate working for an Indian MNC software consultancy company told me that they are planning fire employees who are on bench. I then went on to reason why at the first place they were on bench.

The facts of the situation are quiet baffling. On first count, the total bench is at around 1200. Then there are people who are on bench for the past 7-8 months. And there is a constant recruitment on almost every weekend amounting to at the least of 20 people. I wonder what kind of planning they do while recruiting further.

Now, look from the employee angle. Why should one come to office when there is no work? Mind you, all employees on bench get paid but their performance rating comes to the minimum/lowest. So, what is the motivation for them to continuously be in office during the 'working hours' wasting their as well as company's resources.

I asked him if they would conduct any training programs for which he said what kind of technical training would you provide for an employee with 7+ years of experience. Then, I suggested of some personal development trainings and workshops. I even devised a plan so that they not only can track each of these employees but also motivate them to come to office regularly.

so, I said that in the available 5-day week, if the company can arrange a 3-day programme starting on Tuesday till Wednesday and then giving a homework/project off next day and again ending the programme on Friday you can account each of the employee through out the week.

I've even planned for the costing of it. I found that making a minimum pay for people not attending the programmes and loss of pay over & above the eligible leaves in a month would accumulate a corpus and it can be diverted to fund the training sessions. Of course, not all would be on personality development but also would be on technical training. For the later, the company may utilize the resources of the senior bench, whose performance can be rated through the feedback and test results of the attendees.

This would equip them and develop them into better professionals and individuals; as the crunch time comes the human resource can really deliver better results and add value to the organization as a whole. This was my analysis on this case! What you say?

"No employer today is independent of those about him. He cannot succeed alone, no matter how great his ability or capital. Business today is more than ever a question of cooperation" ~ Orison Sweet Marden.

From Vows to Woes !*?

2007-11-27T16:06:00.000+05:30

"I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage" - Mohandas K Gandhi.

One of my friends, who recently married, rushed over the weekend to register his marriage. He, however, had a torrid time during the process. I began to dwell on the logic behind this whole concept.

It’s not just in dictionary that Divorce appears first than Marriage but even in our laws. The Indian Divorce Act was in 1869 while the closest marriage act was of Indian Christian Marriage Act in 1872. There probably is a reason and one needs to look at the history of Marriage to understand it.

For 16 centuries, Christianity defined the validity of a marriage on the basis of a couple’s wishes. If two people claimed they had exchanged marital vows — even out alone by the haystack — the Catholic Church accepted that they were validly married. That’s why the marriage ceremony includes exchange of “I do”.

In 1215, the church decreed that a “licit” marriage must take place in church. But people who married illicitly had the same rights and obligations as a couple married in church: their children were legitimate; the wife had the same inheritance rights; the couple was subject to the same prohibitions against divorce.

Not until the 16th century did European states begin to require that marriages be performed under legal auspices. In part, this was an attempt to prevent unions between young adults whose parents opposed their match. The American colonies officially required marriages to be registered, but until the mid-19th century, state supreme courts routinely ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage.

In the US during 1950s, using the marriage license was a shorthand way to distribute benefits and legal privileges made some sense because almost all adults were married. Cohabitation and single parenthood by choice were very rare.

Today, however, possession of a marriage license tells us little about people’s interpersonal responsibilities. Half of all Americans aged 25 to 29 are unmarried, and many of them already have incurred obligations as partners, parents or both. Almost 40 percent of America’s children are born to unmarried parents. Meanwhile, many legally married people are in remarriages where their obligations are spread among several households.

Now you need to look at why the Indian law started the registration, as we neither have a social security system in place nor any legal privileges. The main reason behind the compulsory registration of Marriages Bill, 2002 was to save women from harassment (because govt found that foreigners marry women only to abandon them later and prevalence of child marriages in certain states) - as put by T. Subbirami Reddy, MP.

Of course, the concept of alimony has not taken up firmly in India and though, the Government usually provides assistance to single mothers, in urban areas, this has mostly remained unutilized due to ignorance and lack of awareness.

“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet” - Robin Williams.

How do you like this???

2007-11-26T11:00:00.001+05:30

"All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness" ~ Mark Kennedy.

Yesterday, I tried to withdraw my money from ATM without using my cellphone. Okay! I always check the password stored in it before I transact. So, no wonder I failed to recollect the password and couldn't transact. Disappointed I came back and pondered on to try recollecting any numbers in the phone. I failed utterly except to remember my mom's no 'n ofcourse, mine. This experience proved how I'm enslaved to technology and the comfort it offers.

This experience wasn't supposed to be abnormal for me as it took me more than a year to remember my home no. and almost a week to remember my own phone no. There were instances when I'd given a wrong no. a few years back when I changed my mobile no.

Watching movies like Minority Report(MR), Enemy of the State, the Island, etc makes me not just feel how advanced could technology become in future but how dependent could we become on it. In one of the scenes of MR as Tom Cruise enters a retail store, he is personally addressed by a virtual model and even talks about his preferences. So, we are happy to see how the technology makes easy for us to shop but look at the flip side that we may probably lose the ability to try anything new.

Now, with the advent of GPS facility extended from cars to mobile phones it is now quiet easier to travel within the city. But, how about such device tracking the employees. I recently fumbled on an article which says that the employer can track the employees during the working hours; whether they're shopping or visiting customers as claimed through GPS network. It might look as a great news for the productivity enhancement etc but would clearly infringe into the personal space of every individual.

This has been an age-old debate between the technological advancement and its over incidence into our personal space remains while I end this post with this wonderful statement by a great scientist.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity" ~ Albert Einstein.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind

2007-11-25T12:51:00.000+05:30

"Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary." ~ Mahatma

Like I’d already expressed in my earlier posts, Gandhi has never been my favorite hero in my life. But, I find this statement of his and his ideals more relevant this time of the world than anytime we’d ever known on this Earth.

While having drinks with some of my friends, last week we’re watching a news channel transmitting images of abuse and man-handling in Lucknow by the lawyers on the accused, who’re suspected terrorists, facing charges of attempting to kidnap Rahul Gandhi. That picture gave rise to an argument between some of my friends supporting the lawyers' acts and I condemning it, vehemently.

I was petrified at the state of things, the very guardians of law taking law into their hands. Yes! I’m not supporting the terrorists, the terrorism or even their cause but how justified are the acts by the lawyers. Though, my friends rightly had more than many instances where some of the crudest of the humans have either escaped or didn’t quiet get the justifiable sentences for their wrong doings.

But, this was not the lone instance witnessed in the last few months. There were earlier live images beamed by media when some of the lawyers have executed their own ‘justified’ judgments in front of the court premises.

Another horrific incident of a 19-year old girl in Saudi who was gang-raped in a car, when she was with a male acquaintance, has been sentenced for 100 lashes and when appealed in a higher court the sentence was doubled along with six month imprisonment. She was guilty of the charge, “illegal mingling”- it is illegal for a woman to be with a man who is not related to her.

I went on to describe this law to be as tribal and barbaric and those whoever (any of my friends) support such incidents are no less barbaric. I wondered if we’re ever progressing. The argument started to turn more pungent until one of our friends stepped into make peace.

Now, the latest serial bomb attacks in the courts targeting the lawyers are the retaliation by the war-mongers for the earlier attack. This way we would ruin ourselves in further. I’ve learnt that laws are out of societal beliefs and approved behavior. So, why is it painful to follow them and why is the behavior degressing???

Tho, Aisa Bhi Ho Sakta Hai !!!

2007-11-24T14:45:00.001+05:30

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?-Dick Clark.

This post is a response from one my very good friends (a former collegue); thought I need to share his view.

Hai Naresh,

This is with reference to ' this piece' of your blog.
( In India, I’ve heard of caste, religion, sect, economic disparities, political and even the inclination towards the religious beliefs being possible hurdles for an alliance but not the geographical distance. He said that the girl’s father was not particularly keen as he doesn’t want his daughter to stay away (geographically) from him after marriage.
This amazed me than the fascination I’d earlier while planning for his retirement)

Now, my take on the above is a bit different.

It is possible that, it's not the daughter that the Pa want to part with; it's the Dowry, the Moolah, that he has accumulated / painstakingly saved for the past 20 years or so; or the inheritence that he received - that's what he doesn't want to part with.

I have seen fathers who just dislike their sons-in-law as a matter of principle. Inherently, they believe, these buggers have no right to take away what justifiably belongs to the girl's father. I can't say whether it is right or wrong naresh. Dowry system is very bad.

I have seen some fathers of girls, deliberatingly rejecting prospective grooms, real 'suitable boys', in the 'arranged settings', for no apparant rhyme or reason.

I have seen them doing it 4 years ago, and i have seen them doing it 20 years ago when we were younger.

I hope i am wrong in this case. I will be glad to be wrong. But dowry system does strange things to people. What ever it does (to people) is not good.

I hope his reason is genuine. my own example. My father-in-law did not like our marriage. My wife belongs to 'kanigiri' village in Ongole district. He married off his first daughter, to a teacher in the same village . My wife is also a teacher. He wanted to give his daughter to a 'nice young teacher' in Singa Raya Konda (35 Km from Kanigiri village). But NOT as FAR as Hyderabad !!!

He had grudgingly accepted as ours was a a 'quasi-love' marriage ( i mean, we didn't have to fight any hurdles ).

Yes, i have seen father who do not want to give their daughter to 'America Some-Bandhams (alliance in telugu sarcastically expressed) because of distances involved. I have seen many cases too.

C.V.Ramana.

I do, like my friend sincerly believe its genuine. But, what I dont understand is that after you get married, if you were to move away due to career pursuits is the moot point.

As I was discussing this case with another of my friend he said that Delhi people would want their daughter's to stay in Delhi itself. All I know till now is that Delhi Babes are good but not much info about their dads. :-(

I & my brother were very clear from the start that dowry should never be asked or taken by us. And fortunately, our parents also appreciate & share the same view. Of course, I do keep on hearing from some quarters of our family that by saying no to dowry, you subject yourself to a negative opinion about you, which I give a damn.

But, one piece I sympathize with any father is the perceived loss of their greatest possession, the daughter...... I know Girls always are special !!!

Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Kya???

2007-11-22T21:08:00.001+05:30

"I stay away from Alcohol. The person under its spell always tells the truth about what he loves the best in you and the worst in you. These are two things I hate to hear about. - Jerry Sienfeld."
Today I met my old friend, of course, on an official visit - to plan for his retirement. I was using one particular financial instrument which will help him not only to accrue a huge corpus but also will be tax efficient. I myself was quiet fascinated at the outcome. Though, I was explaining and recommending many people of the same, the enormity of the benefit was starkly felt today.

After we were thought with the whole of planning, we moved on to the idea of “network marketing” concept suggested by one of our friends which we weren’t completely enthusiastic about. But, out of all the other things he suggested that caught my attention was how he looked at the whole idea of it esp. on developing the network at some unlikely quarters of the society that play a very useful role in the mundane lives.

As time passed we drifted to our favorite topic – marriage. The last time we met almost a month ago he revealed that he was seeing a girl (parents on both sides arranged for) and things might finally settle. But, today when I’d asked on the progress he said that it hit a hurdle.

In India, I’ve heard of caste, religion, sect, economic disparities, political and even the inclination towards the religious beliefs being possible hurdles for an alliance but not the geographical distance. He said that the girl’s father was not particularly keen as he doesn’t want his daughter to stay away (geographically) from him after marriage.

This amazed me than the fascination I’d earlier while planning for his retirement.

Life is not always smooth and at times is hard. It is at these times that we thank our dear ones. Happy Thanks Giving!!!

The Wedding Chronicles - II

2007-11-19T12:19:00.000+05:30

"I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, A church filled with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for, He said one that would make me his wife." - Anon.

Over the weekend, I’ve attended my friend’s sister’s wedding, the one whose sangeet I’ve danced at. I’ve reached in good time to check out the arrangements in place. Couple of my friends were supervising most of the arrangements since morning. The place was well-lit with electrical lamps and decorations while desi music rendered the much needed sound effects.

The stage was embellished with flowers multicolored, braided and curled all across while the electrical lamps provided the enthused visual effects to the whole scene. As the invited poured in so did my old friends. It turned out to be a grand reunion of sorts as she was our junior class at school - added for more familiar faces in the crowd. Of course, the presence of political heavyweights like ministers and assembly speaker rendered for the high profile of the congregation.

This never hurt our spirits; we were in a different sphere altogether and enjoyed all through this time. The place being open-roofed, the cold weather took its spine-shivering space in everybody. The dew settling over the lawn added to a sparkling effect over the ground.

Never would any Indian wedding go unnoticed without the mention of food! Here it didn’t just suit the occasion but uplifted it. The pick of the menu is “mix-veg tawa curry” and I relished every bit of the food. It was already past midnight when most of the ceremony is through and we finished congratulating the newly wed. The weather turning chilly with the fresh onslaught of cold winds as we bid adieu to my friend to leave home.

And on Saturday, I’d traveled to Warangal, a historic town to attend my roommate’s reception. It’s the first time I’ve been to this sleeping town, only in news mostly for the naxalite attacks, NIT (formerly REC) ragging issues etc. But, the best part of the city is its architectural wonder during the 11th century A.D. when the Kakatiya dynasty was at its full splendor. Along with a few friends, I started early in the morning as we planned to explore some of these sites. We reached our friend's palce just before lunch and post-lunch were on the task.

The first visit was to the 1000 pillar temple. It’s a masterpiece and symbolic of the dynasty’s cultural upswing. It has remained intact even after the atrocities of Aurangajeb whose armies have disfigured some of the idols. But, the unfortunate event tuned out to be at the hands of the Archeological Survey of India, who’ve dismantled the 1000 pillar stage only failing to restore it. The locals claim that they’d no clue on how to rearrange or reconstruct the entire structure. It’s a pity that modern technology has limited answers to some of our ancestor’s works.

As the dusk approached, we were at one of another marvel of our past times. A huge manmade pond which was designed and constructed by the dynasty in such a way that it suffices even today’s sprawling city’s drinking water needs. It was situated between huge hills acting as a catchment area and it has remained almost perennial since then.

The evening reception was full of fun with a musical event accompanied. We were at our past selves (as in college) shouting and encouraging the performances. The food was of splendid Andhra flavor though there is no pick of the menu and its entirety is complete. The whole experience turned out to be as on a vacation all with traveling, sight-seeing, great food and fun with friends.

"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering." - Anon.

P.S: Hey Sourav! the roomate mentioned here is not from KIAMS

The Wedding Chronicles - I

2007-11-16T14:04:00.000+05:30

"There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends." – Homer on Marriage.

I need to break the jinx of not attending my closest friends’ weddings. It has been haunting me for the last 3 years. I could well attend some of my other friends who were pretty far (geographically) attending them in a row while missing some of the ones within the same city I live. It appears to be just more than a coincidence as it occurred more than many times for comfort. I failed to comprehend my absence at these which I otherwise want to be present.

Couple of years back, I’ve attended two weddings in a row: one at Patna and then at Chandigarh within a span of three days. I’ve traveled all the way from Vizag (not well connected directly by flights etc.) I’d pretty well managed by traversing through different cities (while catching up with some other friends). This trip had actually increased the expectations from my other friends and also me of attending any of their weddings.

So, they started informing me well in advance so that I could easily back-pack to reach the various locations. This is when the failures started. I either got tied up with some real tough job at work like VPs visits, appraisal interviews, etc or another irreversible event like weddings of two friends at different locations at the same time.

So, I tried to find a way out of this puzzle. Now, these friends most being close started inviting me for the engagement ceremonies or sangeet events making me chose either of these events or the wedding to attend. This gave me a choice of being able to make my presence felt. This weekend, a new twist unveiled with three weddings to attend and all at different places but on the same day.

As I’d already attended the sangeet event I told one of my friends that I can’t make it for the wedding while I’m attending one of the weddings today I would be making it only for the reception of my roommate who’s married today.

I thought I’ll chronicle these experiences through my eyes in coming days.

Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves - making in all, two.

Why do we end up with whom we are?

2007-11-15T15:28:00.000+05:30

"All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner" ~ John Gray

I found this beautiful piece by Dr. Kortsch is a psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, relationship coach, author, and professional speaker. I tired a very little to abridge it.

What happens in a typical love scenario...? Boy meets girl (man meets woman) chemistry, infatuation, bliss, love; we've all been there and know how that part of it goes. But what is really happening? Raging hormones answer only a small part of the question, even though they can create a vast impact.

Carl Gustav Jung said that our psyche is so infinitely intelligent that it attracts us to certain individuals in order that we experience precisely that which we need to grow. So how do we typically grow? By going through an experience of some sort that may not be easy. We grow at school by learning, studying, and taking exams. We grow in life by becoming more aware, and we generally tend to become more aware when some life experience obliges us to do so.

And going back to Jung, he clearly proposes that throughout the course of our lives it is our psyche that in its infinite intelligence leads us to be attracted to precisely those individuals who most have the potential to be instruments in our individual growth. In order for that to work, evidently we first have to be fully in relationship with those people. So we fall in love, we begin to feel that our happiness depends in some measure on the other person, and so begins our need of that person.

An external need, in others words, when we depend on something external to ourselves for our well-being, frequently carries within it the seeds of failure. In the case of a relationship, it may often be the cause of power plays between the two people, the less needy one being the one to dominate the relationship, and the needier one to resentfully accept this dominance due to his or her need for the other partner.

Power plays are not the only manifestation of relationships mired in mutual need. Another frequent expression is obsessiveness or possessiveness, or a need to control. Akin to any substance addiction, obsessiveness or possessiveness or the need to control can take people to hellish places in their hearts and minds that few of us would wish to visit.

So why do we become needy in relationships? But why should love imply a feeling that almost always develops into something negative, and at best, makes those who feel it, as said at the beginning of this article, that they could not live without the beloved, thus 'proving' in their minds, that this is really love? Is that really what love is all about? Wouldn't it make more sense to assume that love means freedom rather than independence?

Let's start with the falling in love part. What are we actually falling in love with? Stated simply, we fall in love with those bits and pieces of ourselves that we have not yet recognized, but that we find (via projection) in the partner. Is she tender and understanding? Is he funny and the center of the party? Is she strong and enterprising? Is he confident, with a great sense of integrity? All of those qualities may well be part of your partner's character, but the fact that you fell in love with those specific traits, tells you that they are actually part of your own character as well.

Since you do not yet manifest those qualities, because you have not yet recognized them in yourself, you need your partner to be able to 'be in touch with' that part of you. That is what 'hooks' you on your partner. Your partner's presence in your life gives you contact to those parts of you that you have not yet developed, making you feel that your partner is absolutely indispensable to your well-being.

So then, when something happens to the relationship, or your partner leaves, or threatens to leave, is when the strong feelings of need arise. This is the time when you should realize that these strong feelings of need are a vast red flag letting you know something is going on inside of you that only you can do something about. If you ignore it, or translate it into "I was deeply wounded by my partner," or "My partner did not return my feelings when I most needed him/her, so I guess that means I always choose the wrong people," or "Next time I will choose better, so that this kind of thing never happens to me again," then instead of resolving your inner dilemma, you will merely perpetuate it by maintaining the status quo inside of you, falling in love with yet another person that puts you in touch with bits of you that you have not yet recognized in yourself, and thus setting yourself up to be 'needy'.

So what is the solution? Simple to state, less simple to execute (mainly because it requires some of that inner discipline that most of us don't want to exercise): work on those bits of yourself that you catch a glimpse of in the beloved. Examine yourself to see where they might reside in you. Work at developing them; growing them. If you do this, I guarantee you that the next time you fall in love, it will be with a smaller degree of external need, and hence, a greater degree of internal freedom. Or, if you remain with the same person, your love will grow into something infinitely more loving.

Bringing sense .................

2007-11-03T10:05:00.000+05:30

"Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education system? If we promote promiscuity the same way we promote math or science, they have nothing to worry about." -- Beverly Mickins

A recent study between 22-30 age group in India has shown that they wanted to stay single and are not ready for marriage yet. But, yesterday I fumbled on this beautiful piece that I thought to share demystifying at least on one of the sexes behavior.

As I grow in age, I value 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you over the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of him with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" here's an update for you!!

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Of Wishes......

2007-10-26T09:56:00.000+05:30

"Energy can neither be created nor destroyed."

We’ve learnt of this golden principle during our education and that energy can only be transformed viz, kinetic to potential, vice-versa, etc and this formed the basis for modern revolution. Earlier over this space I’ve correlated my mood swings to that of the capital markets and then the 123 agreement of Indo-US N-deal with my personal life. This time I see a different angle to all this energy transformation.

I hear a lot of my close friends finalizing their commitments in their lives over the issue of wedlock. Most of them either have decided on the life-partner i.e. got engaged or have zeroed on among the options. I’m genuinely happy and elated each time I get to hear this news. The correlation factor here is that these events took place just as I’d made a choice to be single and for a period - I don’t know.

This communication to my parents, relatives and friends has resulted in negative reactions from all of them. But, I was surprised by the timing of my friends’ announcements and then understood the level of energies I’d been holding on to. I’m drawing this conclusion as this is too good for just a mere coincidence as it repeatedly occurred in the recent past - timing with my decision. That probably proved how much willing I was before I dumped the whole thought of it.

The best part is that this energy I'd held and transformed is eco-friendly. :-)

The Race !!!

2007-10-21T23:30:00.000+05:30

What a way to end the calendar year and what a race it turned out to be. It had all the thrills, drama and entertainment fitting for a grand season finale`. From the moment it started there is a clear and clever strategy evident with the Ferraris while the Mc Lauren was left behind. Raikkonen just did Prost confirming my possibilities of earlier posts on this blog. And it was quiet a dramatic race with Hamilton for some mechanical failure dropping places and Alonso never quiet looked to upset Ferrari’s plans while Massa just played the most important and perfect second fiddle of the whole story.

So, Raikkonen re-did the Prost while Hamilton secured the runners-up and Alonso settling for the third place in the championship points. Though both Hamilton and Alonso had same points and same wins Hamilton had more number of second places during the season. This effectively undid the chances of cry-baby's hatrick and Hamilton’s rookie achievement. All Kudos to Kimi for clinching the title as a real champion clearing the rest by not just winning the last race but also throwing them out of the contest in points.

I reported Kimi’s first win, the very first race of the season and fancied Ferrari's chances for the championship. No better result would I ask for than this and me being a die-hard fan of Ferrari am thrilled. For all the ill luck he had all through these years, he deserves to be the champion and what a way to get it.

Random Rumblings !!!

2007-10-17T13:28:00.000+05:30

Today, I went to ICICI Bank and was pleasantly surprised by the behavior of one of their employees. I was depositing the money through their quick deposit where in you place the money in a cover and submit the clerk. I was standing in the queue for a while awaiting my turn. As I submitted the cover, she pointed at one of the blank details I missed to fill, for which I’ve apologized. She had done enough research of me by the time I’d re-submitted the cover, she inquired if I’m interested in any investments.

I know this bank’s aggressiveness but the way they’d trained that lady, I’m just amazed. Later, I was in a stationary shop standing behind a group of young girls at the cash counter. While the bill is being settled one of the young ladies reached out a tiny book, all in their group looked at, giggled and left. Out of curiosity I’d picked the same one to find a collection of sentences about Marriage. Now, that was my turn to giggle.

Of late, my interactions with NRIs got me to know their constant fear of capital erosion due to rising rupee. But, as I researched the markets, I’ve found that it’s not just the Indian Rupee but the dollar depreciated across all of the emerging economy currencies. So, why blame the Rupee when the Dollar takes a back seat.

With most roads reduced to pot-holed, Hyderabad’s road system turned primitive. Now, thanks to the World Military Games, at least part of the roads seemed travelable. This is the first time some reconstruction of the roads by the incumbent government.

Here I'm waiting !!!!

2007-10-07T16:35:00.000+05:30

" Here is a thing about the future; everytime you look at it, it changes. Because you looked at it and that changes everything else." ~ Nicoles Cage in the movie, Next.

What a turn of events over the weekend, I wouldn’t have asked for any better, especially after watching such a disastrous match. I even missed one of my exams, all my fault, attending the centre on Saturday while I’m supposed be at the same time a day earlier (instead of being in the cricket stadium).

Not since 1986, when outsider Prost beat favorites Mansell and Piquet, have three drivers fought it out to the last round. So, with Hamilton’s mishap at China Grand Prix the championship is going till the last wire with three contenders vying for the title: Hamilton (107), Alonso (103) and Raikkonen (100). But, would Raikkonen pull a Prost is a question that would be answered in a fortnight’s time. If he can pull off, then this would coincide my excited post at the start of this year’s first race.

I’ve not watched a single match completely in the T20 championship and wonder why I had agreed to accompany my friends to the stadium to watch the Indo-Oz match at Hyd. Firstly, the stadium itself is incomplete (still under construction) and I don’t really understand how were they allowed to officiate the match. Then, the arrangements were mere pathetic with exorbitant prices from water (Rs.30/litre) to chips and every other thing that’s available was at least hiked by 100% - 150% of the original price.

Not to mention the number of seats were far lesser than the tickets issued and after spending few thousands on each chip least you’d expect is to be seated. Thankfully, the weather was generous with clouds, if not with most stands exposed to nature could’ve turned into a big dampener even before the match started. Excepting the heroics of Yuvi, the antics of Lee with the crowd and the ever self-enthusing crowd (with continuous Mexican waves and chanting of slogans, singing chak de songs) the experience could’ve turned much worse.

And I'm waiting for a thrilling finish for this F1 calender year and with no team championship (McLauren were disqualified) all the attention is on the rookie, Hamilton. Any of them winning the title would create a record: Hamilton for a rookie to finish at the top, Alonso a hatrick and Raikonnen re-doing Prost.

Bapu’s Due

2007-10-02T10:16:00.000+05:30

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I was never an ardent fan of Gandhi for reasons that he couldn’t evoke a Bhagat Singh or a Subhash Chandra Bose in me. There were times I believed him as an architect of the partition (Godse style) but always wondered on how he manifested the idea of non-violence into a successful freedom struggle.

At last Gandhi has received some due as UN declared his birth anniversary as "World Non-Violence Day". He and his life has inspired millions of people and ‘Gandhigiri’, the phrase thrown to express the non-violence in the movie ‘Lage Raho ….’ The later took the current generation as a phenomenon and changed ideology of many people and their approach to the surrounding problems.

I read somewhere that Gandhi wasn’t chosen for Noble Peace Prize on reasons that his repeated non-violent agitations (fasting, marching, etc.) couldn’t yield any positive results in reducing the violence during the partition. The Noble committee deemed it as failure on part of his ideology; if so how would they justify to the fact about the non-violent Freedom struggle he lead millions of people against the Raj.

I sincerely doubt their logic for if Noble prize is issued for making a Ground-Breaking / Earth-Shaking new ways to enhance peoples’ lives through various fields of study then Gandhi has truly inspired at the least 5 Noble Peace Prize winners viz. Martin Luther King Jr., Dalai Lama, Aung San Suu Kyi, Nelson Mandela, Adolfo Pe`rez esquivel.

Laurels sure doesn’t matter if we, the people, can follow any of his good works for creating and maintaining a better society and ultimately for a greater human race.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

Knowing US!

2007-10-01T13:32:00.000+05:30

"Humor, like oxygen, can lift your spirits even in the most trying of circumstances specially when it is loaded with practical tips. – Anon. "

Last week the US Government made changes in their naturalization process, i.e. giving US citizenship to the immigrants. It has been a debate for over two decades between the conservatives and immigration rights people about the test to be taken before the formalization of citizenship. It contains 10 questions and a person has to score at least 6 to qualify. So, 100 new questions figured which mostly are addressed on the US civics subject. Questions upon the significance of 9/11 and the location of Statue of Liberty made it to the list. As expected, the immigration protection groups condemned the new test as making it more stringent for the immigrants but considering the changes being swept across the US and with an increase of over 100% applicants within 3 years it was a necessary evil.

Browsing over the NY Times, a link led me to “test yourself” section with 10 questions and surprisingly I’ve scored the required 6. At least couple of questions were very logical like the rights of a citizen, etc. I neither wanted to become a US citizen nor would want to check my knowledge but a President with no proper knowledge about the world and its leaders (recall his stutters during the first campaign) is behind this whole exercise leads for more humor to the current affairs.

Putting aside US the other interesting point is in knowing us i.e. we beings. Reading an article ‘Forget About Knowledge: Just Be Yourself’ from the “The Speaking Tree” in TOI section put me through an interesting perspective. It addresses the question on how can I be myself if I don’t know myself. The gist goes like this: a rosebush is a rosebush and a rock is a rock. It doesn’t require knowledge to know for it self what it is and it’s because of knowledge that you’re missing being yourself. Humanity wants something new, something original. It wants you, and it wants you to be just yourself.

The situation turned paradox to me as I’d just started to read a book which actually tries to help me understand about myself.

World is Round !!!

2007-09-27T19:52:00.000+05:30

"The best companies outsource to win, not to shrink. They outsource to innovate faster..." ~ Thomas L Friedman.

During my management education, I’ve learnt of two schools of thought: one says organizations to expand and integrate (both forward & backward) to leverage the benefits of efficiency and cost savings while the other says organizations concentrate on core areas of their operation to achieve greater profitability. What I’ve realized is that by integrating their business the organizations invariably ended up with businesses out of their core competence. In the contrary, not integrating gave them pure dependency and vaguerities of the supplier.

I guess this dilemma, is being envisaged by the Indian Steel major TATA and the Indian lead Arcellor Mittal. They’re in an acquisition spree of Coke (Coal ore) mines to sustain the production and not affect the resource supply. These companies have earlier divested these businesses to become one of the most profitable by concentrating on their core areas of operation i.e. production of steel and steel only.

This dilemma, I guess worked better for the IT companies with India outsourcing Outsourcing. Didn’t quiet get? Okay! An article in NY Times says how Indian firms are expanding into foreign shores to gain more outsourcing work. The cost advantage of Indian IT firms has seen a strong resistance due to the rising rupee (up by over 12% in a year) and also competition from nation like China, Philippines, Mexico, Russia, etc. To counter this, the IT majors started establishing offices in these countries to amass the inherent advantage.

As the article quotes, in one project, an American bank wanted a computer system to handle a loan program for Hispanic customers. The system had to work in Spanish. It also had to take into account variables particular to Hispanic clients: many, for instance, remit money to families abroad, which can affect their bank balances. The bank thought a Mexican team would have the right language skills and grasp of cultural nuances. But instead of going to a Mexican vendor, or to an American vendor with Mexican operations, the bank retained three dozen engineers at Infosys, which had recently opened shop in Monterrey, Mexico.

Such is the new outsourcing: A company in the United States pays an Indian vendor 7,000 miles away to supply it with Mexican engineers working 150 miles south of the United States border.

Infosys argues it can clone its Indian back offices in other nations and groom Chinese, Mexican or Czech employees to be more productive than local outsourcing companies could make them. By teaching novices, Infosys saves money and hopes to attract workers who will turn down better-known companies for the chance to learn a new skill.

Now, It's time to prove Thomas Friedman wrong on “World is Flat”.

Change is good!!!

2007-09-25T11:59:00.000+05:30

"The key to change is.... to let go of fear" ~ Rossane Cash.

This tagline from the Vodafone’s recent commercial initiating their transition from Hutch in India has evoked me to compare the T20 WC achievement by Indian Cricket Team. T20 in many ways a transition for not just the selectors, players, viewers but an attitude altogether. In more ways, the game itself has successfully transformed to fit itself within the modern times - be it in time, speed and entertainment. Couldn’t imagine that what we played during the school days, “gully cricket”, became a hit at an international arena.

Yesterday as the last barrier was torn down, there was so such excitement with the crowds that people came running out into streets, instantaneously turning into a rapturous celebration with fire crackers and dancing all around. The stark difference is that I’ve seen a lot number of kids (pre-teens) in my residential complex and the neighboring ones taking procession with crackers, tri-color flags and dancing along. I was just out of nappies when India won the Cricket World Cup and don’t really know how had people reacted to that feat but I was happier seeing these kids cherish the victory this way.

The current format has caught attention of these young generation idolizing cricketers like Dhoni similar to our generation devoted to Sachin. I get to visualize myself on why and how we got hooked to ODI cricket. With more “corporatization” of Indian cricket, sure there are good days awaiting and hope this would percolate down to other sports and athletics especially.

Taking cues from a recent friends' meet I've started to write shorter posts - a change being with times.

Indian Cricket Team at last have cleared the jinx of the finals while for Pakistan the riddle of India remains in big competitions.

Chak de India !!!

The Argumentative Indian !!!

2007-09-20T20:59:00.000+05:30

"There must always be a struggle between a father and son, while one aims at power and the other at independence ~ Samuel Johnson."
Men can be quite confusing - following the rules in some ways, breaking them in others; giving up their lives to save their country, but paying little attention to their own families; searching for self-worth in the long term accomplishment of goals, but giving up self-worth that they could gain by being more empathic every day. What puzzles men are!

Yet given what we've learned about the nature of a man, there is one thing about men that is not puzzling: Almost every man you know is on a quest. This quest the outward manifestation of his mental and emotional interaction with his external environment brings together elements of calling, work, family, identity, emotional life, and moral character. How he makes his quest is the man's ultimate marker of self worth in the world. This is an excerpt from the book: “What could he be thinking?” by Michael Gurian who used 20 years of neurological research to show that nature makes men significantly different from women.

I’ve remained always a big quandary for my parents and it now has extended to my close friends for how else can I explain about one of my friends wife’s behavior to verify the relationship status (married/single) by checking out the feet of any girl (whom she feels suitable to me) or of my cousins inquiring about any eligible girls in every family gatherings. (they’re audacious enough to inquire with the engaged/bride) This search has reached its feverish peaks and the fallout toll included me.

I’ve used this blog on numerous occasions to express my peculiar experiences on finding a life partner. Today, I’d probably the biggest confrontation ever with my parents on the hottest topic of my current life stage - Marriage.

I’m quiet unaware of how others had dealt with or deal(ing) with. Of the very few times we discussed, this topic had never been comfortable to talk to my parents. May be of the not-so-close ties (explicitly) I enjoy with them or the very topic isn’t exciting enough; for whatever the reasons were, the latest discussion today turned into a debate.

It went in phases while starting with my recent rejection of their pick, they needed the reasons, my choices, particulars etc. for which I’ve none to offer, except that I’m not ready for it, yet? Yeah! the question mark is not my dilemma but their disbelief. I’m old (aged) enough to get married but my late(st) quest to pursue my passions has made me to think over again. They believe it’s stupid, (replace with your choicest words) highly unconventional and never could digest that I might put it off - forever.

After the usual cajoling and reasoning the next phase was to shout at me, question my thoughts and plans which turned unyielding. The biggest ‘astra’ my mom used was to emotionally blackmail me. She argued about values, family, relationships - mom/dad, brother/sister, son/daughter, etc. to vain. She talked about respecting parents, binding to elders and for my part I questioned if I didn’t ever?

It's my attitude than words that worried them. I know that they were hurt, badly and it wasn’t my intention but my mom was in no mood to heed any of it. She kept sobbing and after an initial outburst, anger and frustration my dad came to terms with me while my mom accused of him taking sides. After over a couple of hours, thanks to my room-mate’s entry, the debate ended for now.

The situation still looked grim with a problem in our TV cable connection and they’ve nothing to get themselves involved or put their mind off this. For my part, I’ve started writing for this post….

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years ~ Mark Twain."

Of Life That We Don't Know..........

2007-09-10T01:40:00.001+05:30

"My life often seemed to me like a story that has no beginning and no end. I had the feeling that I was an historical fragment, an excerpt for which the preceding and succeeding text was missing. I could well imagine that I might have lived in former centuries and there encountered questions I was not yet able to answer; that I had been born again because I had not fulfilled the task given to me." - Carl Jung

Past Life Regression is a very controversial subject with an amazing interest value. We can all day dream and imagine what our lives may have been like in a previous existence, and how many of us have actually said "Next time I am coming back as a man".

There is a village in Tamilnadu where all you need to is to provide your thumb impression along with a fee and they would send a cassette mailed to your address. During my final year of Engineering, one of my friends got his palmistry done this way. So, as he received the cassette, all of us were quiet interested to know what the predictions were. The most interesting and relevant to this post was that he was a King in Kerala in his earlier life.

But, how many of us actually believe in reincarnation? And how many of us feel that some of the problems that we experience in this life are completely unexplained. How many of us have seen a stranger and felt as though some how they are vaguely familiar? We cannot say whether we have lived before, there is certainly no scientific proof that any of us have existed.

Okay, the genesis of this post is out of an article published yesterday in TOI about the growing craze for the Past Life Regression Therapy (PLRT). In a country where reincarnation is as old as life itself, it isn’t surprising that this has become the hottest treatment. So, as I dug deep on this topic over the net and I'd encountered a mine of information.

So what is PLRT? It’s a "Cure" by disassociation, and could quite simply be a message from the sub-conscious to the conscious mind. It can help us understand questions like: Why am I so scared of snakes/dogs/water etc? Why can I never keep a relationship going? Why can’t I mix in groups? Or even why do I always have a terrible back?

Some practitioners however say that one needn’t believe in reincarnation to achieve results using this therapy. The images one creates during these sessions are rich in metaphor and can be incredibly helpful in resolving longstanding health or relationship issues. By allowing the expression of these emotions and unresolved conflicts in one’s subconscious realm, one is able to clear and heal aspects of the present that are represented.

This is a type of hypnotherapy. Hypnosis is a deep state of calmness and relaxation combined with a hyper-aware mental focus. In hypnosis the subconscious mind is accessible and very open to direct therapeutic changes. When hypnotized one is mentally alert and physically relaxed, extremely aware and well in control.

As one practitioner illustrated about a young woman, Cindy, had always dreamed of going to Europe. So she worked and saved a long time in college to make her dream come true upon graduation. She had always had an affinity with England, so the first stop was England. Cindy hopped a tour bus to get a feel of where she might like to spend more time visiting later. When the bus got to a certain section of London, she became so anxious and frightened that she had to get off the bus and take a taxi back to her hotel.

This event was deeply disturbing to her. An athlete and semi-pro baseball player who went to college on athletic scholarships, she had always seen herself as a strong and independent woman who could handle about anything. Cindy couldn't figure out what had frightened her so.

In a regression session, she discovered that one of her past lives had been as a prostitute in London. At age 21 (about her age at the time of this trip), she was brutally murdered by Jack the Ripper in the area of London where the bus had entered. She even recognized some of the buildings. With enormous relief, she finally understood why she had been so scared.

This kind of ‘déjà vu’-ic experience that human have has been recently deciphered by neuroscientists at the Picower Institute for Learning and Memory at MIT. They’ve identified for the first time a neuronal mechanism that helps us rapidly distinguish similar, yet distinct, places.

Researchers believe that a set of neurons called place cells fire to provide a sort of blueprint for any new space we encounter. The next time we see the space, those same neurons fire. Thus we know when we've been somewhere before and don't have to relearn our way around familiar turf. But if we enter a space very similar to one we have seen before, a new but overlapping set of neurons creates the blueprint. When there is enough overlap between the two sets, we experience an eerie feeling of déjà vu.

PLTR isn’t, however, devoid of skeptics like Social Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty who is alarmed by the growing popularity of this ‘quackery’. “There is no scientific basis for this therapy. It is a regressive move back to the age of superstition,’’ he says.

Could my fears about marriage are out of a domestic abuse in my earlier life - can’t rule out such a possibility. : )

"As long as you are not aware of the continual law of Die and Be Again, you are merely a vague guest on a dark Earth." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Magic !!!

2007-09-03T21:46:00.000+05:30

“It was a million tiny more things and when add them all up… it was meant to be the woman I’m supposed to be together….and I knew it, I knew it the moment I touched her…saw it coming home, only the home I’d ever known…I was just taking her hand to help her out of the car… and I knew it was like… hmmm… magic.”

This is how Tom Hanks describes about his dead wife in the romantic, “Sleepless in Seattle.” I sure had never experienced anything of this sort seeing a girl/woman. Watching this film over the weekend made me to retrospect on my adventures.

May be ‘coz of the season, I'm always in the midst of the talk of match making or the trials of it. Today one of my friends called me up to share his recent such rendezvous. He told me that he felt that the girl could be too conservative and mayn’t compatible to him and so had decided against going any further.

I remember once one of my very good friends told me about his wife. Of course, it was a love marriage but he said that he always believed that she was the one with whom he would walk his life with and advised me to marry one whom I would feel that I could live as enjoyable at 65 as at the beginning of the marriage. I asked him, innocently, on how to find it - the answer was that I would feel, I would know and I would experience it. This set me off to a mission to find out how far this would be true.

One of the comments about my last post was that I’d ended rather abruptly. True, this I believe would lead to the conclusion.

So, I called up friends who have married and who are currently engaged. The lists of experiences are: one of my friends noticed that the girl was actually head-over-heels about him at their first meeting. Then, I asked him if he’d inquired his wife the same to which the answer was true. That makes the score 1. Then I called up another who is on the path of the farewell to bachelorhood. His response was that its love-at-first sight for him, though they conversed over phone before their meeting. That makes the score to 2.

I, then, called up another friend. He said that its nothing like in movies of the feelings, etc. and so both met again together before deciding to take it forward. That brings the score down to 1. Now, I’d called up a recently married guy (couple of days back). His experience was different. He said that he felt good about it and nothing more. Actually, in this case, the girl was rather in a perplexed mind and it’s only after a few conversations over phone that she began to know him, like him. So that’s even.

After conducting this phone survey I wonder the chances of instincts enhancing the decision making. The whole exercise took quiet a time and probably unnecessary information only to end it in a draw.

I guess I’m more of an instinctive decision maker ‘coz I couldn’t even recollect the face of the person each time I met and this really turned problematic when my folks asked me on how she looked like. My answer always was that I don't remember. It could be probably ‘coz I used to shut my senses when ‘that’ feel never was ignited. Surely, there has to be….hmmm….. Magic!!!

Folks please share your experiences????

The Rational About Instinctive Thinking

2007-09-01T21:21:00.000+05:30

"The wise are instructed by reason; ordinary minds by experience; the stupid by necessity and the brutes by instinct." ~ Cicero

My experiences of prospecting for life partner relied mostly on instincts. For instance, after I met this girl (our parents have arranged) my first reactions spending over an hour together were that “if any further were to happen, it would surely lead to divorce.” I was laughed at by my parents & cousins alike and all the four months connecting and communicating with her lead to the obvious break-up. This could be an extreme example while in my other instances I’d pretty much right with my instincts.

Similar sentiment was echoed by one of my friends. She used to tell me that whenever she met the prospect, she had an instinctive feel or emotion that would help her take a decision. So, when I was going through the science section of the NY Times, I came across this very interesting article on the power of gut feeling and the science behind our instincts. There could be similar instances in most of our lives and either had we acted upon it or not but the fact remains true.

Two year ago, when Malcom Gladwell published his best-selling “Blink: The power of thinking without thinking,” readers were introduced to the ideas of Gerd Gigerenzer, a German Social Psychologist, the Director of the Max Plank Institute for Human Development in Berlin. Before his research, this topic was often dismissed as crazed superstition. In his new book, “Gut Feelings: The Intelligence of the Unconscious,” he says gut feeling is a judgment that is fast, comes quickly into a person’s consciousness. The person doesn’t know why they’ve this feeling. Yet, it’s strong enough to make an individual to act on it.

His research indicates that gut feelings are based on simple thumb rules, what the psychologists term as “heuristics.” These take advantage of certain capacities of the brain that have come to us through time, experience and evolution. These often rely on simple cues in the environment. In most situations, when people use their instincts, they’re heeding these cues and ignoring other unnecessary information.

This whole thinking contradicts the classical rational approach which many propose and follow i.e. to weigh the pros and cons to make the decision. What Gigerenzer says is that it demands too much information and it’s slow. He believes that by going with the first best feelings one can permit them to outperform the most complex calculations.

Of course, he also mentions where instincts fail. He takes the example of post 9/11, where many Americans stopped traveling in airplanes and drove on highways instead. And the data of highway fatalities increased by an estimated 1500 people. He says that they listened to their fear and so more died on the road.

These still mayn’t completely explain our behavior at all the circumstances, at least provide some cues for decision making.

The fallacy of personal validation

2007-08-24T22:27:00.005+05:30

“The logic of validation allows us to move between the two limits of dogmatism and skepticism” ~ Paul Ricoeur

What does it require a balloon to burst, just a prick. That's what happened to my delight and awe at the outcome of the handwriting analysis when a friend gave a link to a website. As explained, he painstakingly searched on the net to find:

http://homepage.bluewin.ch/Ysewijn/english_Barnum.htm

As told in my post the handwritten script was a second attempt. My first one was a 'recycled material' (in the words of the graphologist) i.e. I copied an article, which interested me from a newspaper. When I’d sent, the reply was to produce an original one with a clear mind. In this process, I did supply a lot of self-information, quiet unknowingly.

So, what am I leading you to? Okay! The link has put me to a simple test, and a personality description given, which I judged for 74% exact and worth. The description is:

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

This personality description was obtained from a newsstand astrology book. Way back in 1949, B. R. Forer published an article (The fallacy of personal validation: a classroom study of gullibility. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 44, pp. 118-123), in which he described an experiment with 39 undergraduate psychology students that were given a personality test. A week later, they all received the same personality description, but they were told that these descriptions were their individual results of the test, The students were then asked to rate the accuracy of their "individual" description on a scale from 0 to 5. Of the 39 students, only 5 rated it below 4, and no one rated it below 2. The average rating was 4.3.

Forer's experiment has been repeated several times since 1949 with some variations and results are always very similar. They show clearly that people tend to accept vague and general personality descriptions as uniquely applicable to themselves without realizing that the same description could be applied to just about anyone. This is the Forer effect. The name Barnum effect stems from psychologist Paul Meehl, referring to P.T. Barnum's saying that a good circus should have "a little something for everybody". Still another name used to designate the same phenomenon is subjective validation.

But scientific studies of these pseudosciences demonstrate that they are not valid personality assessment tools at all. Yet all have many satisfied customers who are convinced they are accurate. Customers will often ignore false or questionable claims. In many cases, by their own words, actions, facial expressions or body language, they will provide most of the information that a pseudoscientific counsellor feeds back to them through skilfull use of cold reading techniques.

Now, what do ya ppl say?????